What an interesting week 3. I don't know about ya'll, but between injuries and wild performances, it feels like Week 8. Every decision matters and we haven't even accounted for the bye weeks that will have us starting kick returners. With that said, lets recap the week.
TrashMoney Hillionaire's 107.15 vs Olave Garden 126.95
Two weeks removed from one of the greatest one player comebacks in league history and we're struggling with the lowest points of the week. This week overall must've been rough. A trip to the guillotine. Tank Dell balling on the bench. And to top it all off Josh Kelley managed a WHOPPING 12 yards on 11 carries against a Vikings defense that just let Swift slice through the d-line like a lightsaber. The only light at the bottom of this hell hole is that Kamara is back, and you can activate the Kamaravirus once again.
At no point during the draft or the last two weeks would I have pegged this team as only undefeated team. Despite leaving a player in the roster that was KNOWN as inactive, it seems like you were blessed with an uncanny amount of luck. What pisses me off is that its not like you're scrapping for wins, scouring the waiver and doing research. You just finished taking your green painted Packers cheese head to the trash and said "whoops" when you remembered you were in this league at 8:45 on a Thursday. You're luck will run out soon, but for now, congrats on the 3-0 distinction.
2 Jones 1 Pup 130.70 vs Bijan Mustard 165.80
When I look at your team, its always tough for me to tell if its good or bad. You have a great RB that continues to get vultured for TDs, phenomenal WRs in Adams and Brown. But you also have to hope that Aaron Jones hammy doesn't linger for the whole season (looking at you 2022 Keenan Allen) and that Colts decide to play nice with Taylor if Moss keep beasting. I'm not going to pass too much judgement until the rest of those things clear up.
Who knew your first win would come in a game where Derrick Henry averaged less than 2 yards a carry on 11 touches. A win is a win though, and at least your not Jesus right? Its gonna be a lot of ups and downs but I think you might be getting your teams bearings in place. Thielen is somehow relevant and Meyers is getting a solid 12 targets a game. Way to get on the board this week.
Downy Fresh 133.45 vs Team 147.55
You got any tips on how to keep your whites their whitest, or getting those pesky wine stains out of your wife's blouse? Another week and another loss for the reigning champ. I'm telling you that it gets worse before it gets better. There isn't a start/sit split you could've done to change the outcome of you losing this game. Sure, you could've started Friermuth instead of the TE on the team with a QB that is stinking up the joint, but that still wouldn't have gotten the win. Just think, this is your team with no injuries too....
Viva LaPorta and the rest of your team managing to stay healthy DQ. With this optimal lineup, you put up a respectable point total and breezed your way to another victory. I'd write more but I'm convinced that you've silenced the chat. We'll let you know when you lose. Ya'll notice that the Mute Dave spot seems to get the same energy each time????
Ja'mamas Back 134.10 vs My Cousin Justin 155.25
This week must've felt being on vacation with your wife while a stripper bachelorette party is happening next door. You hear them screaming about suckin' the next dick that walks in but alas, you're bound to your room. Having Waddle out during one of the highest scoring games in NFL history is downright awful. Even Mike White was getting people TDs. To top it off, Mattison's stranglehold on the carries is now in jeopardy. At least you got to see Jamar Chase come back to life and the Steelers secured a win.
It seems there were a lot of people that started Josh Reynolds while having players ball on their bench. One person I know had DJ Moore on the bench. That's nothing in comparison to having both Sutton and Chark sitting there. But a win is a win nonetheless. That Jefferson/Cousin's stack is putting in solid work. So much so, that Gerald has probably stopped checking your social media because he's so much lower in the standings. Keep up the good work.
The Banged Up Bunch 135.75 vs Hurt the League a Little 205.70
Considering you put up 135 points without your #1 draft pick isn't that bad. Its just bad when you run into the highest point total of the week while the other half struggled to get to half your point total. The Tuacide Squad can only do so much and DHop ain't the same guy that can get 1200 yards while having QBs like TJ Yates through to him. Just keep waiting out on Ekeler's health and for Kupp to come back healthy and you might have a real problem squad on your hands. Until then, pray for more wins.
Yeash. Its like you didn't miss Chubb AT ALL. Keenan Allen is making up for all that lost time with the hammy, Raheem Mostert acting like Jeff Wilson doesn't exist, and Mike Evans still making TD catches in the midst of defeat. While half of those points came from two players, it will be interesting to see if the injury bug is behind you. You might be ready for a comeback after that down year last year and I've heard of Covid rumors lately. We'll see how things look in December.
This Team Iz Kang 116.15 vs Da GAWD 121.40
You should count yourself lucky that all you did was sacrifice a loss and not a whole player on a Monday night against Da GAWD. I thought I was doing the right thing removing Mayfield from your options, but it looks like it would have been the same regardless. All while having Trevor Jesus on the bench with just enough points to get you the win. Hard battle down to the wire but someone's gotta lose. You'll be blessed with a Burrow resurgence next week.
If there was award for being able to take the most damage and still come out victorious, I think I'd get first ballot. Da GAWD has lost so much on the road to these victories that I feel like Goku after each battle. I go the distance, use my last sensu bean, and have nothing left after a spirit bomb. Yet I rise to win again. The powers are keeping me going but its a long arduous road.
"First there was two sets of RBs/WRs in the band, then there was one RB/WR left in the band. When times get hard and shit hit the fan, GAWD don't walk with me, I am HIM man."
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