Welcome back to the league that makes other leagues jealous. We waited all season to be back to a sense of normalcy now that the dark times (Quis reign) are over. Unfortunately, Week 1 smacked us all in the mouth with so much carnage that the guillotine looks like a blessing. "I'm runnin' outta reasons to feels sorry; there's blood in the streets and you gon' get mud on your cleats when the field soggy" #Meadowlands. I'm Let's recap on how our first week of matchups turned out and pray that most of the damage is done.
TEE Time 95.15 vs 2 Jones 1 Loss 92.40
Adam, I want you to know that being in last place is your FIRST punishment for snaking AJ Brown. You, like many others suffered significant losses at key positions like QB,TE AND WR. The lone bright spot in Aaron Jones also seems to be brief after he pulled up with a hammy after scoring a TD. The sad part is that the hammy will haunt you all season with the "will he/won't he" suspense that will give you ulcers every Sunday. Be glad that its Week 1 and others may suffer more throughout the season.
Quis, be thankful that you played the only other opponent that you could've beaten. Its comical that your team name was based on a WR that got zero points from a freshly paid QB. However, it looks like you can start to trust Keenan Allen again and Nick Chubb will still do Nick Chubb things. Congrats on the win, but don't think you'll be back to hoisting that trophy.
This Team iz Kang 120.00 vs BIJAN HELP 76.55
Gerald, your team is beyond help. In the history of me making these recaps, I don't think ANYONE has ever scored less than 80 points. There's no bye weeks - its week 1. The best parts of your team are RB and that is literally it. Your roster is riddled with WR10's and the bench ain't much better. It could be fluke or you could be in for a very long season. Just pray for a chance at the playoffs.
Gordon, it seems like this season is designed for the degenerate fantasy football player that you are. At this pace of injuries and underperformances, your deep research into practice squad players will probably pay off as everyone hits the waivers. But don't think you'll get off scot free. You snaked a bunch of players in this draft and that won't be taken lightly
The Syndicate 171.90 vs The Hurts Donut 132.80
Jesus, its a new season. Compared to what happened in Week 1, your team actually did decently and would've have beaten a majority of the contenders. Unfortunately you ran into the Tua Typhoon and couldn't escape. You were even projected to win easily. I know it Hurts.....don't it. We all know you'll be able to recover from this, but I'm happy you've been grounded again back to a regular player with this simple loss.
Ian, I recall in the 2019 season that you were the highest scorer in Week 1 and it looks like you came to repeat that performance. Your team somehow remained unscathed while the rest of us were caught up in Hurricane Bad Beat. Congrats on the solid win and coming out well ahead in the points race. Lets see if you can keep it up this time while racing to the altar.
Team DQ 137.90 vs Big Ja'mamas House 109.10
Shorty, I legit felt sympathy hearing the sob story of how long you've been in the league and how distant that trophy has been. You should really write a heartfelt letter to Kirk Cousins and say how much you understand his plight. On Thursday you had a solid day out of Mahomes and watched as DQ had sub 10 pt games from two spots. Then things got ugly on Sunday. compared to other teams, it wasn't terrible; it just wasn't enough. I'm really rooting for you this season to be the runner up in the chip.
DQ, it must feel good to get that stench of last place off of you with the win this week. There were a lot of eyebrows raised when you took Ridley but it looks like the right choice this season. You also have an up and coming Gibbs (as long as I don't plague him). With this squad, you can be back in the playoffs in no time. Congrats on the win.
CashMoney Hillionaire's 130.10 vs My Cousins Kiss 113.40
Trav, this wasn't a terrible performance but it wasn't the greatest either. You did the smart thing pairing Jefferson and Cousins to always have a fighting chance. But you might need a lot of help at the other positions if you want to be in the mix come playoff time. Even though Diontae went down, I think you'll still be able to fight next week when you put in the replacements. Hit the waiver right and things will be ok.
Juan, it amazes me how often you will be losing early and then skyrocket into winning later in the day. You post a meme about going to sleep or talk about doing something else, and then AB, or Tyreek or any other explosive player just flames on. Tyreek might single-handedly get you to the playoffs while he achieves 2k receiving yards on the season. The rollercoaster Sunday must have been fun. Congrats on the win and sorry you're a Giants fan.
Olave Garden 131.20 vs Demi-Gawd 107.90
Eddie, this week had me feel all the emotions. The high of watching Kelce out on Thursday. The lows of Dobbins and Mike Williams exiting the games. The high of watching your fantasy and real QB go down within minutes. The low of multiple turnovers from Josh Allen. This was seriously a test of how the plagues work. It was like for every plague I gave you, I got one right back and you came out victorious. I truly know what it means to be a Jets fan after playing against you.
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