Make Them Pay (Week 9)

 

I don't know about ya'll but Week 9 just turned the heat up just a notch in the fantasy realm. 5 Teams have the same W/L record in playoff spots 3-7. Two teams are behind those five by one game. Points are going to matter more than we realize as we get closer to Week 13 and it looks like the trade deadline is going to come with no help to any team. Its getting dark out here. Let's recap. 

Kevin Dyson 100.20 vs StatueofGibbserty 100.25

What are the chances that the two lowest scores of the week matchup against each other. Then think of the chances that those lowest scores managed to have a .05 margin for victory. Yikes. As if this season wasn't already full of disappointment in Saquon and DJ Moore, you had to watch as no Vikings QB could make Justin Jefferson relevant. So many opportunities for one yard. If Mahomes didn't come out for 2 plays. If Swift just ran one more yard. If Cam Little kicked just one more yard. Not gonna lie though. Its fun seeing you back on the wrong side of fantasy matchups. You should look up what Kevin Dyson is up to these days.

Finally. Someone else can catch the bad beats in fantasy instead of you right Eddie? After that one blip with the yipps from Quis, you seem to have gotten back on track. Man. 8-1. Must be a thing of beauty. The sad part is that you used up your lifeline for the win this week. Everything is just working out too well for you this season. It makes the inevitable fall off that much more likely. I really wanna know how you'll handle it if you don't win the fantasy chip this year. Maybe you do win and give me the Kanye speech. Or Da GAWD will have a good laugh in December. 

My Njigba 108.40 vs Chasing Flowers 148.05

I hope you were able to forget all the worries of fantasy football while you were out in Vegas. You're still stuck starting 3 mediocre TE's. The only saving grace is that you didn't give up JSN to Quis. While this week JSN didn't do much, he will UNDOUBTEDLY do more in the following weeks. So I can't ridicule your team that much. You did the right thing. However, starting Ladd McConkey while the Chargers O Line looks literal swiss cheese has got to be weird. Worthy against the Jets had to be the better pick. While none of it ultimately matters since you and Gordon are best buds, you can still make better decisions in the losses. Maybe the lights got to you. 

Another week, another win, and another chance to climb back from the depths. While we all want to blame Gordon, the Quis stack is what's putting in most of the work here. All of this was done without Garret Wilson as well. If you managed to finagle another trade, we would have had to have serious talks. Luckily you're still at normal levels. The only hope I have is that you end up in the bracket with Eddie (maybe he even loses the bye week) and knock him out the playoffs for my amusement. Either way, good win this week despite no production from Zay Flowers. 

This Team is Hampton Inn 114.70 vs The Syndicate 145.65

In the off season, I always hear how excited you are about the fantasy season. That this one will be different. You're starting to sound like a deadbeat saying you'll take the kids to Disney World. Its just so bad because you're trying your hardest and there's nothing you can do. Josh Jacobs finally starts showing value and now he's out for weeks with a hand surgery. Michael Wilson is done for the season. AJ Brown is a shell of himself. Your TEs are Gesicki and Higbee. You're only two games better than the real life Chargers. Sad man. Its like you're sitting at lunch by yourself. Even the stinky kid got a friend.

Things were looking a little rough there for a few weeks. You were dangerously close to fighting Trav for the seat next to Gordon. Luckily the Dak attack with CeeDee (just learned this week that his name is Cedarian) put over 60 points alone. But you're not out the woods yet. Treyveon Henderson sending out messages like he's about to retire and the Colts are giving JT 10 carries like they're trying to preserve him for next season. You're in fighting shape but the decisions you make going forward will determine your chances for a playoff run. Good luck out there and good win. 

U Can't QB Me 119.55 vs Amon-Ramen Noodles 138.50

Some people hit up Da GAWD for some start em sit em advice and asked if they should start McCarthy or Shough. I explained (to exact detail) that the Saints play like super heroes at home and that JJ played with no one having film on him. But what I should've said is that a guy in my league is snake bit at QB and whoever he starts will get hurt. Its not all bad though. You're still spirit linked with Quentin Johnston to get some production. Plus, you finally got some production from London, Olave, Price, and Fannin. I'm just curious which QB you'll sacrifice in Week 10 to get hurt. Just dont let it be the Vegas QB. We can't have that. 

Another week where Kenneth Walker had to single-handedly save your entire team. While you got the much needed win, those 40 points on your bench with Jordan Love might come to haunt you in Week 13. I digress. You still got the win. Bonus points for Sun-GAWD scoring more points than JSN this week. (Take that Quis! Right??). Starting the Saints RB was a dicey move but clearly the only move you could make since you couldn't trust Odunze over Diggs. Keep fighting.

Team DQ 138.70 vs Team 7 Heaven 186.70

Live by the Josh Allen. Die by the Josh Allen. Your team put up respectable points when compared to some of the other teams in the league, but it just wasn't enough. Cooper showed up again on the stat sheet, but Jameson Williams went missing this time. At some point you might have to make the tough call on dropping Devante Adams. There's a few weeks left and IDK if your supporting cast can keep you afloat in the event Josh Allen looks mortal. Oh and thanks for contributing to the chat this week with the Henderson news. Didn't know you were still here. 

Life must be pretty damn good. Back to back weeks of highest point total in the week. Bucky still putting in that work. Breece finally came back into the roster. Matthew Golden not droppin the ball. Plus you're able to watch asses walk by you (without capture I might add) while you sip drinks with umbrellas and see your team winning in fantasy AND real life (Giants). Doesn't get better than that huh? Congrats on the win this week. Well deserved. 

DA GAWD Al GAIB 132.75 vs JaMarrageddon 152.75

Da GAWD tried his best this week. I knew going into it that all my best players had atrocious matchups while yours were poised for wins. When Jamar Chase hit my bet by halftime, I knew I was in for a long day. Then I had to watch the Giants slowly defeat my lowly Eagles. All in all, it felt like this was payback for a recap back in 2018 when you were almost going to beat me and then it didn't happen. Seeing Watson go for two deep catches and a TD was the nail in the coffin. Good win. 

Two weeks in a row where I lost decent matchups. Should've left the Browns defense in but that's what tinkering last minute does. Da GAWD knows better. No more though. Just wins from here on out. The bye week is the time DA GAWD is able to bask in clear headed thought for the playoffs. Its still got my name on it. I'll make them all pay for thinking that two losses will keep Da GAWD down. 

#Amen

What Did I Miss (Week 8)

Its the end of Week 8 and we're on the other side of the fantasy season. After a bumpy start, the competition level is now very high. Three teams are tied with Gordon for last place, while a four teams are tied for second. There's very little room for error moving forward because it won't take much to get you in or out of the playoffs. A 4 game win streak (even from Gordon) can solidify a playoff spot. Let's review the week. 

 The Syndicate 102.05 vs Chasing Flowers 153.10

What a terrible time for your fantasy squad. Jonathan Taylor recognizing this might be his last time in Indy and puts up a measly 6 points. Jeremiah Love goes to IR after being slated to run against the worst defense in the league. Then you had to watch Allgier get the points Love was destined for. To top it all off, one of the top kickers in fantasy managed to score zero points because he missed a FG and his team actually scored more than 1 TD this week. Rough times indeed. Time to pray for those players on your bench to step up big. 

I said it last week that the swagger was back. This time, the Quisfecta was in full operation. Joe Burrow had a whopping 6 total TDs and scored almost 50 points despite having 3 INTs. Tee Higgins followed up with 37 points and Chase Brown finished with 16. These 3 players alone almost matched your opponents total score. And just think, you were able to accomplish all of this without taking advantage of a friendship through trading. Good work. 

U Can't Be Serious 102.10 vs Ja'Marrageddon 146.95

Good grief. You lost 3 players in the same week to IR. The injury hat trick no one wants to accomplish. To be fair, you were without Olave or CMC so the battle was going to be hard no matter what you did. But watching London sit at 1 catch for 8 yards while Penix turned the ball over 4 times had to be depressing. I imagine you were at the bar just staring into a pint like you were reminiscing a lost one. The only positive from this was that CMC remained unscathed from this disaster by being on your bench. 

How does it feel to have a fantasy matchup wrapped up by 2pm on a Sunday? After Christian Watson out did the Paul Pierce wheelchair game, you were smooth sailing. You didn't need Aubrey's kicks, Loveland's catches, or Drake Maye's rushing TDs. Just feet up, some chips, and genuine football enjoyment while the Giants had a bye week. Doesn't get better than that. Good job this week. I'll see you in Week 9.

Team DQ 110.85 vs This Team is Hampton Inn 113.85

Woof. After getting great production from your shiny new waiver pickup, watching Omar Cooper fill the stat sheet with a 0 had to be demoralizing. Then to watch your first round pick put up 8 points like he's Isiah Crowell? Ouch. As usual Josh Allen came to play. But worst of all is that you lost to Gordon. You stooped down to his level and he beat you with experience. Be careful out there.

Your second win of the season. Some of us thought this day wouldn't be possible. Yet you did it, despite starting Michael Penix on a day he had 4 turnovers. I still can't believe you started him after watching what the Bucs did to their other division rival just a week ago. But that's why you're 2-6. A win is a win though. Right now, there are 2 other teams tied with you at 2 wins. You can crawl your way out of last place and have some dignity to your name. Good luck and good win. 

Amon-Ramen Noodles 124.00 vs King Quon 156.10

This one had to hurt Jesus. Between Thursday and Sunday at 4pm, you had a commanding lead against your opponent. Tony Pollard continued showing RB dominance while Sun Gawd was robbed of a TD. But then the 4 pm games got started and the clouds turned dark. K9 didn't show up with the Tony Pollard dominance that was needed and the Chiefs lost a strong lead - just like you were about to by Monday night. All isn't lost since you're tied for 6th place at 4 wins, but you better lock in.

Just silently hung around until you could squeeze out this win huh? The early slate of games blessed you when Hall was announced to be out. That let Braelon Allen go off. Then Josh Palmer goes down early to make room for DJ Moore to re-emerge. Then you topped it off with a Monday Night Football 3 TD hat trick from Swift. The patience allowed the comeback. Good job on the win. You looked like you'd be close to those 2-6 teams. 

My Njigba 125.10 vs StatueofGibbserty 148.55

Now this one was strange. You looked like you had a decent shot at winning this matchup. But now that I'm doing the recap, I see where things went wrong. You started 3 TEs instead of the max of 2. If anything, the writing was on the wall the Colts would play like crap considering the dismantling, so starting Warren was dicey. It doesn't help when McConkey was on the bench with 13 points either. There's a saying in poker that you can almost guarantee that you lost the hand if you have 3 pairs (a pair on the board and two of your cards). The same thing applies to these TEs. Go trade with Gordon's non-existent TEs and make your teams worthy of the fight again. 

After last week's panic attack, it looks like you got yourself back on track. Without Nabers, Skat, or Devonta, you had to cook up something a little special. Luckily, Jonah Coleman went nuclear in the 4th quarter to pull away on the week after robbing Juan blind of his FAAB money. While I side-eye your decision to hold a kicker, it looks like it didn't hurt you as bad as expected. Sadly, Brissett won't be here to see Week 9 on your team but at least you still have Iceman himself Caleb Williams. Good win. 

DA GAWD was So Close 161.10 vs Team 7 Heaven 167.35

Congratulations on a hard fought battle Gerald. Somehow you managed to have Bucky in a game script where 0 passes were completed. Then the Commanders put the Eagles QB in the dirt repeatedly. This was fluky but still all the right plays. You could've played Stafford against the lowly Chargers but made the right play with Daniels. There's nothing bad to say here except good game. 

DA GAWD came close but didn't do enough to secure the victory. I sat too high on the morals of Allgier going nuts after Love AND Bam Knight went down after Brissett got benched. At least we know who I won't be sitting for the next few weeks. I knew had a inkling of a switch out for a start sit. I knew I needed to start Kupp but not sure which one. Could've been Mason or Coleman and that would've won the matchup. We just learn and move on for week 9.

#Amen

2 Hard 4 the Radio (Week 7)

 

Week 7 had the usual fun right? Injuries to guys during games when you need em the most. Having no one to start but waiver wire lottery tickets. Yet, we solider on. Each week gets harder as we fight for the coveted playoffs spots in route to the grand finale. At some point rosters will be healthy, but will your final product be enough to get you to the top? Let's recap. 

OlympusHasFallen 110.00 vs Chasing Flowers 167.20

Watching your first loss of the season come at the hands of Quis was pure comedy. You stayed silent all season in the chat but when you saw Quis' name you panicked. PTSD of horrible losses had you trembling while looking at the app. You pulled your Jets comforter up to your neck like a kid afraid of the dark. Then Thursday night made some of those fears real. Then you started Jalen Coker after the disappointing Devonta Smith news. Then the Jets went Jets and lost to the Dolphins. In a last ditch effort to salvage the week, you wanted to tail your nemesis with bets. Judging by the silence, I think you lost that too. Dust yourself off though, at least Skat is a feature back again. 

If there's any way to get that swagger back, its to play Eddie when the Jets are facing a winless team. Thursday night got things poppin for you and you never looked back. You got the extra satisfaction of beating Eddie by having your namesake RB beat up on the Jets. Emotional damage at the highest level. Great win on the week and highest point total. Da GAWD wants to thank you personally for foiling Eddie's plans on longest undefeated streak to start the season. You might be getting back in the mix with this win. 

Team 7th Circle of Hell 115.15 vs U Can't CMC Me 123.95

The week looked like this was yours to win. Thursday got your kicker 15 points and Irving was running buck wild. So you put your phone down to watch some basketball. Meanwhile, Nico and LaPorta weren't getting the guidance they needed to put up enough points. To top it all off, you're defense gave up -3 points. You had to know Lamar wasn't playing in the game. Why expect the defense to stop a divisional rival like that??? That highest point total of the year must've been your chip because you're phoning it in. You and Trav are dangerously close to the Gordon spot. 

Another week without Lamar and everyone on bye and you still got the win. It was ballsy to keep the Jags defense and start Tyrone Tracy but here we are. It paid off and Tracy paid the cost. Cousins and CMC led the charge back into the win column for you. This ragtag scrappy roster is getting some favorable matchups. Not sure why you're still holding Price with Charbonnet ready to return, but I'll leave you to your own decisions. I don't need more competition for a bye week. Good win.  

My 3 TE's 126.40 vs Amon-Ramen Noodles 145.70

With your season on the brink of collapse, DA GAWD is stunned at this roster mismanagement. You're holding on to THREE TE's like you have Gronk, Jimmy Graham, and Aaron Hernandez. At some point, you have to trade one of them to get some value back on your team. Otherwise, you're gonna be in hanging with Gordon talking about 5th round draft picks that could blow up in 2028. In 2024, you had a 9 game win streak. Get back to that mode. We don't want your loser fee to cover cookies that you won't eat. 

Looks like Tony Pollard took baton this week before Kenneth Walker could grab it. 3 TDS from Pollard, 150 yards from Sun GAWD, and Immaculate Concepcion coming through with 129 yards put this away. You had points to spare with Odunze and its not that big of a deal. Strong chance that Waddle doesn't play the next few weeks and you'll need Odunze to step up big. Just remember that the altar is always open for those Odunze prayers. Solid win. 

King Quon 141.80 vs Ja'Marrageddon 153.25

Da GAWD didn't have the hurt to insult your team name, the loss was insulting enough. Like I prophesied in last week's recap, you'll lose a player to injury every week. This time, it was Aaron Jones on the week that my coveted Jordan Mason came back. The matchup was still close with Barkley playing on 1.5 legs. I thought it was ballsy to even start em knowing that it was possible that he wouldn't play. But when things were looking up, you fell back into those old Charlie Brown ways. The victory was snatched away right when you thought a comeback was in sight. Let's hope Tre Tucker doesn't get hurt next week when you start em. (Been a while since I used this Gif for you, but it felt right)

Another week, another hard fought victory. Every week you patiently wait for one of your studs to bail you out and they always do. You had to phone in the challenge yourself to get the Loveland TD. Then you had to wait for Jamar Chase to get a TD like you were waiting for your parents to get done talking so you could go home. Lucky for you, its still all working out. Solid win on the week as you keep your playoff spot. The road ain't easy but you're making it look that way. 

The Syndicate 148.60 vs Team DQ 162.20

I really hope you didn't stay awake for the finale of this game. Midway through MNF it looked like it was going to come down to the wire. The Dak/Lamb stack was putting you within the win. But then garbage time running got the best of you. Even worse, Javonte scored a TD and got enough rushing yards to put him in the bonus - guaranteeing a victory for DQ. It was a hard fought battle. You were working on fumes. I've never even thought to roster RoJo, K Mumpfield or J Lane (I won't bother looking up there names - that's how bad it was). Tough loss. 

In a week that you didn't have Josh Allen nor Davante Adams, I thought for sure you'd be susceptible to a loss. Yet the combo of Javonte and Jameson Williams did the heavy lifting. After breaking the FAAB bank on Cooper, you started him and it paid off. All great GM moves. Its gonna be fun when you break the silence in the chat with an early exit in the playoffs. Til then, keep ignoring us. 

This Team is Dead 86.20 vs Da GAWD Al GAIB 114.15

Finally took my advice to start Blake Corum huh? Maybe you'll take some other advice and quit that other league. Guaranteed that you'll have a respectable fantasy season again. Its been almost 10 years since that season existed. How much longer are you going to hold on to the version in your head and the version of you that's barely getting to a 100 points each week? Reality is knocking on the door and you just won't answer. Its ok though. Play spoiler the rest of the season. Ruin people's fantasy hopes while they live with the stench of losing to you. That's all the pride you have left. 

You ever hear that advice about arguing with idiots? They can't tell the difference from a distance. Playing Gordon made DA GAWD stoop to his level by barely scoring over 100 pts but luckily he beat me with experience. I knew the week was gonna get weird because I was supposed to have a cake walk. Then Egbuka goes out. Da GAWD picks up Wicks....Wicks goes out. Last ditch, DA GAWD remembers draft day and sees Caleb Douglas available again. He gets blessed with a blowup game. Can't make this up. Da GAWD's squad is too hard for the radio or the recaps. This masterpiece of a season is gonna be in the history books. 

#Amen

Whisper My Name (Week 6)

What a spooky season. The injuries keep mounting and the prayers are needed. Even REFs are getting hurt. At this point, most of the top 24 fantasy draft picks have been hurt/missed multiple games. This season is about having luck on your side to stay healthy and your lottery pick waiver pickup comes through. Da GAWD can't even ridicule most your start em/sit em decisions because you got no choices. Yet we fight on. Let's recap how Week 6 went. 

Motel 6 88.60 vs U Can't CMC Me 124.45

You waited 5 weeks for AJ Brown to get less points than Kimani Vidal. This is the third time in this young season that you've failed to reach 100 points. Now you're down Terry McLaurin. This recap is a Performance Improvement Plan and you're on thin ice. DA GAWD offered you Likely and Lloyd for Jacobs. Even after you throw it in my face, I offered you real advice to show that I'm a gracious deity. I told you that you still had time to start Corum over Hampton. And you did not heed the warnings from the last recap about starting a defense against your starter. Fighting the allegations that your a bad GM has got to be draining. There's nothing left to say or salvage for this team. 

Got a little scary there for you Adam. You were at risk of losing to the league punching bag. Doubs showed promise and then got hurt on the very play that scored you 14 points. Luckily, your teams' namesake came through in the clutch to perform as expected. You even got a much needed Rachaad White sighting. DA GAWD thinks big things are in store for keeping the faith in MHJ this long. Let's hope the wins continue while you wait for the great return of Lamar Jackson. Congrats on the win. Just keep holding on to 4th place. 

Slow Singin', Flower Bringin' 101.85 vs Amon-Ramen Noodles 107.60

With four of your starters on a bye and Deebo out, you didn't have many options. The waivers were a wasteland. When you needed Stevenson the against the lowly Jets, he got bottled up. Kamara showed a flicker of hope when he came back in the game and glided through the defense to a beautiful score. But Vele couldn't be part of the game where the Saints scored 34 points. With no Lamar, Zay just danced for extra yards without any TDs.  Safe to say the repeat is out of reach. This is the game where it was solidified. 

DA GAWD was gracious enough to ease your worries when I told you that Kenneth Walker alone would fix this mess. With Goff and Sun Gawd out, you needed this win. Juwon Johnson did a Hyrox workout by running and blocking all day. But that is to be expected when you start a defense against your starter. Now that McLaurin is done for some time, you'll be able to lean on Diggs to get your team right while you wait on ETN. Now that your best players bye's are complete, focus on the prize. You're better than this.

Team Purgatory 112.90 vs King Quon 148.40

It was all good just a week ago. Coming off a historic point total last week, you were smacked back to Earth. Now its not all your fault. You had two players on a bye and two players that are hurt. But you also didn't heed the warnings and started the Ravens D against Boston. Luckily for you, Puka won't be competing for targets moving forward after DA GAWD had to put the plague on Adams. Be thankful for the blessing. But what's it gonna be? You gonna be a team that can get 200 points or a team that wants to hang with Gordon? 

Byes and injuries didn't stop this win from happening. After dealing with bad luck, you put together a formidable squad. Did Tre Tucker and Germie Bernard put up more point than Puka and Nico??? Yuck (Pusha T sound). Seeing a G.Bernard come through in a waiver week brought back the Giovanni Bernard days, so thanks for that. But you're karma ain't done. Each week you're gonna get an injury. Even if its your kicker. Keep fighting though. Its fun watching you struggle all season after acting like you got the best of me on draft day.  

My Njigba 111.60 vs Ja'Marrageddon 123.75

You were a lot more active in the chat when you were sitting at 2-0. You're now on a 4 game slide AND gave Gordon his only win. I don't know if the reality of taking 3 TE's is settling in yet, but these are the results. I understand the logic of trying to start Gainwell for a revenge game and benching Demario Douglas with AJ Brown back, but that one change could've won you the week. Especially since Gainwell hasn't done shit all season. Get back in the mode to win and get this team rockin. You don't want to lose another one.

Seems like you're fighting for your life every week. No blow outs. No easy victories. Just waiting til Primetime games to seal the victory. In a week without your first pick, you still put together a decent win. You had to choose between QBs but made the right decision. On top of that, you finally got a Loveland sighting after waiting weeks to see his production come through. And low-key you're getting value out of Keenan Allen. Now lets hope JK Dobbins doesn't go down when you start him in Week 7. Your team is scrappy and this is what Fantasy Football is about. 

 

The Syndicate 129.80 vs StatueofGibbserty 153.75

Another week with players hurt. You tried your best. It looked like you had a chance to make a crazy comeback with Mike Evans on Monday Night. Then we saw the aging problems of Mike Evans. You even had Pitts make a huge impact on the week. If only you got the win with that type of production. We all know it won't repeat next week. The only silver lining is that most of your players should be available to play in Week 7 and you get to play a DQ team that doesn't have Devante Adams. You're welcome.

 

Another week. Another win. Keeping the chat on mute and continuing on to a 6 game win streak must be nice. You're coming for DA GAWD's record of 7-0 to start the season. Even got the highest point total of the week by .15. All of this without Gibbs while Skat putting up a donut. You've gotta be patting yourself on the back at this point. The fun part for me is how much more this one will hurt when you don't win. You've been so close for so long and this is the closest. Gibbs gonna let you down in the worst way. You heard it here first Josh Allen. Congrats on the win. 

Team Devante Q 123.55 vs DA GAWD Al Gaib 153.60

DA GAWD can't lie. This matchup was concerning. Highest point total in the league and everyone was healthy with favorable matchups. Had to cook up a special plague for you. Bijan only had 9 carries??....FOR 61 YARDS!?!? No rushing TD for Josh Allen???!! And just when you figured Devante could fix it all up, his hammy explodes??? Yeeash. Since you've been so quiet in the chat, I needed to plague you to the point that you could only Whisper My Name since you don't talk otherwise. 

Trevor Lawrence hasn't put up more than 20 points against the Texans in any of his matchups against them. Yet when he has DA GAWD on his side, he manages a strong 30. I don't think ya'll are recognizing the masterpiece/art that I'm putting together for this season. Recaps based on the entire Drake album? Called out from Week 1? What more do you want? Do you need me to call the BTJ trade where he starts putting up 18 a game? For Jordan Mason to be a TD vulture for the rest of the season? 

Just know that if you need any blessings, just Whisper My Name for it. 

#Amen

Firm Friends (Week 5)

 

We back at it. In Week 5, every match-up was concluded before Sunday night. GMs are starting bare bones lineups and hoping for the best. Bench players are a combination of injuries, legal battles, and trade bait that can't score points. We even saw the results of committing the cardinal sin of starting a defense against a player your start. At least start-em sit-em decision are easier than ever since nobody is available to play most weeks. Parity is at an all time high and every point counts when we get close to the playoffs. Until then, let's see where people got lucky.

U Can't CMC Me 88.75 vs Team DQ 147.50

Yikes. Sunday morning started off on the wrong foot (literally) with Shipley going down in the middle of the game. I think that's karma for committing the cardinal sin of starting a defense against one of your players. While you got some decent news in MHJ getting traded, he was ineligible to play and the rest of your bench was hurt. This left you starting Sadiq and even HE got concussed out the game. I don't know how much longer CMC and London can hold this rickety ship together week to week. Let's hope Tua isn't starting in Week 6 or you're losing London production too. 

Going into Monday night, it looked like DQ's squad was on its way to its lowest point total of the season. But as always, Josh Allen cleans up any mistakes that could happen. DQ's team is a strong contender for team to beat, but we'll wait for the rug to get pulled. I'm looking forward to the barrage of messages when it all falls apart. 

LaQuinta Inn 94.40 vs King Quon 158.80

I don't know what else to say. The team was doomed after picking Omarion Hampton. There are no choices that can be done to redeem the team. If there was a bet for you to pay a loser fee, the cashout option would be at 49.95 right now and we still have 8 more weeks to determine it. Somehow you got lucky with Darius Cooper. But I guess a turd in the hand is worth two on the bench. For your sanity, I hope you can at least win 4 more games. 

No Mahomes, no Barkely, no DJ Moore. You finally started to show some more life by getting Justin Jefferson back. Trey McBride made a great bobble catch. Aaron Jones and Swift managed to put up great performances and Penix was a serviceable swap. Congrats on getting over 150 points. Its been a while so I know getting this win felt like getting a breather. You're not out the woods yet though. Barkely may be out a while and Jordan Mason is coming back to vulture some Jones TDs. But a win is a win even if its against Gordon. Congrats.

My Njigba 97.75 vs Team 7 Heaven 227.05

Woof. Gerald walked in your house and put his feet up on your couch - no socks. This matchup was done midway through the 4pm games. What's worse is that Montgomery and JSN popped up with injuries after the matchup - putting you in jeopardy of being closer to Gordon in the standings. At some point, you're gonna need to drop one of your TEs in favor of starting a better option. I hope you find the right one before its too late. Maybe McConkey comes back in time for you. 

Highest point total of the week! Might even be the highest total of the season. If my GAWDLY memory serves right, this might be 3rd in all time scores in the league. Give yourself a pat on the back for coming back strong. You managed to do this without Breece and Addison. Even Daniels had a great game on your bench. This is how you bounce back and don't settle into the bottom half of the league. Unfortunately, history says that all those players that went nuclear don't repeat the following week. Maybe Nico and Boston take their shot next. 

Amon-Rotten Noodles 106.65 vs StatueofGibbserty 175.60

Live by the stack, die by the stack. Without K9, its hard to put up the points you need and ETN being on IR doesn't make things any easier. You must've been holding your breath when you started Keaton Mitchel and Carnell Tate. Everything about this week was rotten. You know its bad when your kicker is the second highest scorer on the week. Maybe things get better soon but who knows. 

Silently 5-0. Another win despite having a bench of un-startable players for the week. I'm thinking your "Mute Dave/DQ" act is a ploy to prevent jinxing a good season. Part of me just knows that you and Josh Allen are in the same headspace. Great regular seasons that get tested in the playoffs. Shout out to you for having the gall to keep a defense for the bye week. You're masterminding a good season. 

Chasing Ghosts 133.10 vs Ja'Marrageddon 170.30

Gotta be rough when you watch your opponent get the points designated for Chase Brown and Tee Higgins. There's not much you could've done differently for this matchup. Even if you started Rhamondre Stevenson, it wouldn't have been enough to keep up. Not sure when its going to start sinking in but your road to a repeat is only getting longer. At least your ability to have more wins than Gordon shows that its still a skill to put up points while having lemons to work with. Chase Brown is due for a blowup game and I feel bad for the person that runs into it. 

After watching Pickens get no love last week, he came back with a vengeance. Then Parker Washington rebounded with a 2 TD performance. To top it all off, you got over 170 points while your QB played an entire NFL game in regulation and scored less than 1 whole point. And we didn't have the dreaded -4 turnover penalty. You were rightfully blessed by not committing the defensive sins and still came out on top. Congrats on the solid win. 

The Syndicate 113.70 vs DA GAWD Al Gaib 169.15

We've been friends for a long time so it pains me to see you go out like this. Especially at my hands. But fantasy football doesn't care about friendships - only points. The Dak/Lamb ran out of steam and Jonathan Taylor stopped getting the ball when the game got out of hand. Another example of committing fantasy football sins. If JT had a good game, it removed points for your defense. If the defense did well, JT did poorly. Unfortunately both bad things happened. Rice will be back after the bye next week so you can bounce back. 

Everyone bare witness to effective TE drafting. Both TEs putting up WR1 numbers. The road to the chip for DA GAWD is turbulent but the trend is always up. I'm in your top 3 with more to come. More plagues to bestow. But this week I hope you heeded my words on cardinal sins. Its a freebie. When BTJ gets traded to viable team and Jordan Mason comes off IR, I'll be more emboldened. I don't wanna hear excuses or your plans for future truces. I am So Far Gone that a Thank Me Later is useless. 

#Amen