Tuesday, October 3, 2023

Something's Gotta Change (Week 4)


Week 4 is in the books and I think the league finally in the swing of the routines. Wakin' up hella early to check the stats and injuries. Sometimes you gotta sacrifice sleep for that bag when there's a London game involved. Especially when you got real life responsibilities. September is behind us and with October comes the spooky plays. Lets see if we can make sense of this crazy season we call 2023. 

Hurt my Receivers a Little 94.85 vs CashMoney Hillionaires 131.20

Two weeks removed from having a 200 point game and you managed less than half that total. Mike Evans and Tee Higgins going down right before the bye week has to keep you worried too since you'll also be down Jerome Ford too. How long can Mostert and Keenan Allen keep this thing afloat? Maybe Dak gets into a shootout trying to keep up with the 9ers and AJ Dillon vultures Aaron Jones all game. Best of luck.

My Nacua Puka is really putting in that work for you right now. Even though Fields was on your bench and ballin' its a fluke right? You're not gonna question yourself this Thursday if he should be started against a very exposable Commanders team. Because if you do that can he fails, you'll be even more scared to bench him next time. At least Kamara is back and Hill is due to go nuclear in a week or two. Congrats on the win.

Ja' even Try? 88.15 vs The Home Depot 136.15

Its really hard to write the appropriate recap here. On paper, the names in your starting roster should have formed together to AT LEAST give you 110. I mean the squad was slated to easily get to 135. Yet they were all pure disappointments and it didn't get much better on the bench. I can't offer advice because I'd tell you to start the same players again next week but maybe that Kirk Cousins thing flared up at the wrong time. 

Slow motion is better than no motion right? After floundering around in the depths of 12th place, you emerged with a solid win. I find it awfully interesting that the player you snaked went nuclear at a time my stack would've been stupendous. Now I don't think the you're out of the woods yet. You just happened to run into a Kirk Cousins flare up from Shorty. The bye weeks are here and you should get nice and comfy in the bottom of the standings. 

This Team Iz Last 116.55 vs The Syndicate 127.10

Ouch. Who woulda thunk that starting Trevor Lawrence against the league's worst run offense would yield better results than starting Joe "billions" Burrow against the league's worst secondary. Not me. And to add insult to injury, Deebo Samuel had ZERO impact on the 35 points scored by the 9ers. Looks like you might have a QB and WR problem. If only there was a freshly minted, TD rushing QB that could guarantee 20 points a game. Oh well, better luck next week. Be careful down there in 12th. 

While this wasn't the week you expected out of the Tuacide Squad, its the win you needed. With Ekeler out and Nico Collins going absolutely nuts on your bench, it has to feel good to still have the win in the bag. But I think your arch nemesis will rear its ugly head as soon as your team is at full strength. And that will be decision on start sits. Until then, continue the victory lap. 

My Cousin Just Shy of a Win 122.25 vs Bijan Mustard 122.80

This is the score that makes fantasy owners turn off the lights and cry to sleep. This game was in the bag for you until there was maybe 3 minutes left in the Monday Night game. Danny Dimes was throwing to lineman before Waller and your victory looked safe. In one night, Daniel Jones managed to ruin the dreams of Giants fans and Fantasy owners alike. For your sake, I really hope you don't end up 1 win short of the playoffs because this is where it would've happened. 

A win is a win right? You had the balls to start a Deshaun Watson-less Amari Cooper AND Jakobi Meyers without Jimmy G. All of that while Hollywood would've gave you the victory by easily swapping for either of them. I guess you like to tease your opponent until you finish in the end with a proper victory. Pretty sure someone with experience taught you that. 

O'Lave Where Art Thou? 109.75 vs Team DQ 172.05

You feel that carriage turning back into a pumpkin just in time for Halloween? Your team of ragamuffins is finally looking who we all thought they were. You couldn't keep getting away with random luck and here it was. Lucky for you, Jesus still has to deal with the champ curse and Gordon will panic trade, so that prevents you from going all the way to last. But mark my words, this is the beginning of your banishment from the playoffs. 

From worst to first. These type of victories have to feel like a long time coming. CMC playing like an MVP. Godwin remembering who he is. Herbert slinging the rock. All is right with the world. We even got a Scary Terry sighting to kick off October. Congrats on being in first place and continuing to ignore these recaps. 

GAWD 151.50 vs 2 Jones 1 Team 163.55

This one really hurts. Watching the guy I KNEW I wanted to stack get snaked by Adam was dastardly. It was like Adam went back in time to retrieve the AJ Brown stone and then came back to intervene in the draft because he knew this would be the outcome. You even got one of the most coveted things that people across the nation look for - a Falcons passing TD to a non-runningback. Congrats on this win, but you're gonna pay when I see you in the playoffs. 

Call this loss a bad one all you want but I need another outlet because this league treating me funny. I'm seeing progress each week, like "damn, I really did that". Then it gets stressful again and I'm like fuck that. I been trying to get these wins out the mud, but it only fuels DA GAWD for a bigger chip in the playoffs. Til next week.

#Amen

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