What a weird week. The full moon had must've taken effect because four....FOUR squads couldn't break 100 points. I don't know if ya'll were at some fall festival and forgot or maybe some of you finally came to terms with the fact that DA GAWD is gonna win anyway. What's the use in checking player updates if destiny will arrive all the same anyway. Let's recap on where things went wrong and where they went right.
Your Chubby White Nabers 69.85 vs Saved by the Dell 130
This score had me really questioning what your weekend was like. It started with the donut on Thursday by Sutton and the subpar kicking. Then your team went full blown Simple Jack once Sunday started. The way you couldn't get 70 pts had me thinking that someone got hurt - but no. You had three spots score less than a point and none of em were hurt. Starting the Falcons had to be a decision while you were at some concert with a baddie because the Seahawks have been putting up points regularly even against good defenses. In this race to the bottom, you lost. Keep fighting to prevent the loser fee.
After 6 weeks of absolute basura play, you finally get a win. St. Brown and the rest of your squad acted like a full fledged fantasy team again. While your team's namesake did absolute nothing (don't forget you could've had Collins) just about everyone stepped up. Now don't think this is the start of some playoff run. You're still holding on to Hockenson like you didn't just have a great game from Njoku. I'm wondering if you'll start him when he's eligible just because you held a valuable bench slot for this long. Good win though. Let's see if you end up with the loser fee.
Team DQ 78.10 vs Machine Gun Kelce 123.70
"The devil be doing you, right when you doing it, the devil will ruin you" After stringing together some good wins and putting your trust in Jayden Daniels enough to drop Purdy, you get hit with the plagues. You must've walked under a ladder and pet a black cat on Friday. You lost THREE players to injury and one of em might be out for the season. On top of that, you left a TE in on the bye week while choosing to keep Aubrey on the bench. You held a kicker on your bench right as your team was on the up swing. At some point, you gotta explain what happened in the chat because I'm lost. Or send smoke signals or something other than silence.
Whew. That was a rough string of weeks for you there. But here we are. You finally got AJ Brown back and you wisely started the player you spent FAAB bucks on this week. Even better, you didn't leave too many points on the bench. At some point, you might even get a resurgence of Travis Kelce on your squad. Hopefully for you, Metcalf's injury isn't a season ender or anything. So you'll still be in fighting shape for the rest of the season. Keep fighting for your place in the playoffs. It looks possible with dudes like DQ making ridiculous choices.
Wilson! 88.20 vs The Syndicate 114.20
I tried to explain to a lot of people before the season started that Stroud was absolutely due for a regression. It finally reared its ugly head during a week you needed him most. He didn't even throw for 100 yards. Then Davante Adams wants that old thing back and kinda puts Wilson in question. To top it all off, you decided to start Jeudy when people have been praying for a Watson downfall. I wonder many times you looked at your lineup and wondered who roofied you. There were enough points on the bench to get you the win but it just didn't happen. Yikes. At least the Steelers won despite starting Russ.
Looks like you benefitted heavily from those Saquon vultures. Had Hurts just handed it off to Barkley a few more times, this game would've been closer. You should really count your lucky stars you got this win. There weren't that many options on your bench to get you this win and a lot of your players under performed. I don't know if you can keep getting wins with the status of your squad now, but be grateful for this week. It was a hard earned win.
Get off My Dak 84.30 vs Django Achaned 113.45
When the week started, you were almost giddy with the thought that Kupp could be back. I believe the meme went "Woo, Imma make a name for myself here". Then you saw the news that Kupp wasn't playing and panic added Jordan Whittington - who ended up without any targets or point. Not only did Kupp not play, but Deebo went out of the game with a donut. Now if you had that divine intervention like ya boy in another league and picked up Bateman, you could've turned this whole thing around. He was available in this league too. Damn shame how you lost this one. I don't think this was the name you meant to make for yourself this week. You can look at my score to see how its done.
Thank goodness for that Burrow/Chase stack. This matchup was looking awfully rough to start out. to be honest, I'm surprised you're still stubbornly starting Stevenson when you got up and coming Bucky Irving just rotting on the bench. I also see you decided to get cute by starting the Jets D considering Russ was starting. The problem is that you forgot that they're still the Jets. I think that Davante trade just had you extra juiced for a Jets resurgence. Good win. But lets see what you do next week now that you saw Pickens put up points and Adams go quiet.
This Team Iz Kang (1999) 127.80 vs Looking at the man in Jahmyr 153.05
Don't take this loss personally. You put up enough points that you would've beat over half the league this week. Da GAWD still granted your Evans TD, but I had to work in mysterious ways since you only changed half your name. See I was up against Evans in another galaxy while I had Bateman and Henry left while being down 40 points. Drastic measures had to be done and we needed to stop the Evans bleed. You started everyone you were supposed to and there's nothing else you could do. Just be happy you're not bottom feeding with the 1-6 teams. You'll get em next week. DA GAWD decrees it.
You just won't go away huh? Just when I'm trying to make the perfect screenshot of no one being close to my record or points, you decide to put up the second highest points of the week. You started the optimal lineup with no errors. If DA GAWD didn't know any better, he'd think that ChatGPT became sentient on your phone and has been making all the decisions for you. At some point, we'll all uncover the ridiculous change up. Until then, keep basking in this redemption season.
I Like to Marv it Marv it 140.00 vs DA GAWD Al GAIB 185.50
I gotta hand it to you. Before you boarded that plane, I'm sure you thought you had a shot at besting Da GAWD. Enough so, that you challenged me. But we all know that the inevitable was coming. You smartly sat your precious stack, but it really didn't matter. Unfortunately you would've beat every team except two and had to run into DA GAWD. Damn shame how scheduling makes things so hard. Your team is still in fighting shape though and has enough ability to at least make the playoffs. Hope you enjoyed your trip.
DA GAWD tried to humbly draft. DA Gawd could've made a crazy ruckus. But people don't respect you, when you don't draft like them. So I gotta get highest points damn near every week. I gotta go undefeated. I made it from so underrated. I'm moving like I'm undisputed. You think losing Godwin is gonna stop this train? Just wait for the next pickup. Just wait for the next miracle. At some point it will sink in. Its like these recaps are going in one pupil and out the other. Get your pepto bismal ready because ya'll gonna be sick in Week 8.
#Amen
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