Week 6 (6 Gawd)

Week 6 

6 Gawd

Shit got hot up in the 6^th (week). We had some bad teams move up and some good teams move down. This shit league is about to start re-calibrating to a proper league. Now I’ll admit it, I’ll admit. I ain’t been the man for like a minute. But I told ya’ll that I’m in this for the long haul. 9^th Place is a step up from 10th and slow motion is better than no motion. 

Dominican Poppi 101.10 vs ShutTheBUCup 105.85

I been tellin ya’ll for WEEKS that this dudes team is ass. He knew all week he was gonna lose. He even tried sayin “I hope we tie” like a sister-kissin' quitter. But his real problem is letting Victor Cruz Bachata into his Dominican heart. When you gonna stop denying your Dominican side Poppi? We know you wear them toe separators when you get your toe hair waxed. Maybe next week you’ll realize Dez ain’t Dominican and you’ll trade em. Big shouts for comin through though.

It’s a got damn shame when a meek squad can’t get over 106 points AND STILL WIN. This the bullshit I’m talkin about in this league of extraordinary belittled-men. In what world is it worth holding on to TJ Yeldon? On what planet do they think that Tyrell Williams was gonna BLOW UP on the Denver Broncos? He's managed to do this while skating by on these miniscule numbers and getting 3 wins. BUC has to know he’s living on borrowed time. Congratulations on beating up on a retard. You must feel like a dwarf among midgets.

A Team Has No Game 108.25 vs Le’Veon Holy Jesus 133.25

Sunday started in the group chat with “Cooks Bitches”. What it should have said was “I wish I had more than Cooks Bitches”. Another non-believer, da Gawd offered the No Names solid deals for 2.7 pt Tevin Coleman. He said “Nah, I’m in Florida sippin on a drink with an umbrella in it with my pinky up”. So with blasphemy, DA GAWD cursed him with a donut for Sammy Coates. Your name might be Jesus, but you ain’t gonna walk on water the rest of this season.

I know its October, but did Easter come a little late? Le’Veon, congratulations on crucifying Jesus. He felt high and mighty about his team – doing the two RB start like it ain’t goin outta style. I bet you were ready to throw-up as soon as Cooks went ape shit. Somehow, Cole Beasley is making up for your bad decisions as a GM. You put him up on the cross as an example for ANYONE that doesn’t believe in the power of prayer. The Fantasy God’s showed favor upon your mediocre squad. You might make it the Promised Land. I have no clue how, but its possible.

I Don’t Know What Your Team Means 139.70 vs You Juant Some Come Get Some 160.00

I told you to get rid of Russel Wilson and look where you are. Sure Julio and the gang gave you some good points, but you ain’t even got a decent QB to roll with. Even Juan had the sense to grab Mariota. Not only are you bad at picking team names AND QBs, you couldn’t even start the right people. Why pick up Torrey Smith and not start him? Worst of all, Matt Jones against the Eagles (mad respect) or Mark Ingram against the Panthers that can ONLY stop the run. Literally no team even wants to run on them because the secondary is that bad. By Monday night you were just looking through your notes wondering where you went wrong.

Juan, congratulations on your second win. This one was at least earned. Although you’re just a notch above Bowles, you’ve set yourself up to have a decent squad. While I don’t think you can QB stream your way to another victory, congrats on getting 1 of your 2 teams a win. Your dedication is showing. Now go back in the kitchen and make Jon a sandwich. Know your place!

Zika Carriers 120.90 vs Los Lobos 141.30

Looks like the Zika Carriers got that insecticide. After starting the year 3-0, this downward spiral ain’t lookin to good. Lamar Miller finally showed up, but where’d everybody go? Folks you thought was strappin wit you (Allen Robinson – who I offered to trade for with TY Hilton) just ain’t getting it done playa. And now that teams are getting better, the price for those players is plummeting. You better turn this shit around soon or you gonna wind up on a windshield trying to make it to the playoffs. I'm starting to think you sucked the wrong blood.

Lobos on the other hand is sleeping at the top and starting to have nightmares of the bottom. Everybody wanna be fly til you swat em, and the Mosquitoes got smacked. Right now, I think Lobos is just trying to maintain wins because he definitely wasn’t trying to go for points. Leaving Pryor on the bench might cost em that bonus at the end of the year. But look on the bright side, you know you’ll ALWAYS start Tom Terrific.

Show Me Your Ajayi’s 136.80 vs Jay & Silent Bob 151.30

Its sad when you’ve been living the good life for 5 weeks. Its even sadder when you’re so confident in your receiving core that you drop the #1 RB of the week in favor of the backup that gets 3 measly points. Only thing that could make it worse is if you bet on the game……….oh yeah that happened. Now think about how your score was WITH Spencer Ware getting his points. You think he’s not gonna get benched towards the end of the season? Don’t get shook – its only week 6 and that crash is coming. But this Monday felt like this watching your elite players put up average numbers.

Silent Bob  become vocal Juan when he got a win against Quis. While we all thought that OBJ trade was suspect, he managed to have the #1 WR of the week. This shit is getting outta control though. There’s no reason a dude turns a goal post, into a prop for him to seem cool. Mark my words that your instagrams blow up with Halloween costumes of OBJ and a Net. But outside that remarkable performance, your squad is straight BUNZ. Its like going in a girl's shirt and finding tissue. Your squad ain't got substance. 

Irritable Bowles Syndrome 118.00 vs Da Gawd 146.05

Do I feel proud about putting the beats on Bowles? No.

Do I feel good getting that monkey off my back? Ya got damn right.

Think I give a fuck about Bowles boy? Think I give a fuck about his squad boy? I’m the real 6 Gawd boy. I’m not new to this. Ya fuckin wit da Oracle, da Architect, Noah’s Arkitect, DA GAWD. Don’t think this first win a fluke. It’s about to be a path of destruction on my way to the chip. Rich about to be the next stone on my path to getting rich (get it).