https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Z9oh6SD8vs
What another exciting week to recap. We had some more injuries that shook up some established teams while other teams performed miracles. We're at the halfway point of the regular season and its time to get serious about your futures. You can either go up or go down. Choose wisely.
Los Lobos 112.40 vs This Team Got a Win 133.30
Lobos, your pattern of choosing the wrong QB caught up to you in the worst way this week. Killa Cam killed you. Lemonhead, you ended up dead. His insignificant .8 points vs Brees' 26 was literally the difference between winning and losing. You probably could've dropped him mid-game and got an early replacement for next week. Outside of that mistake, you put together a solid lineup. But couldas and shouldas don't change the fact that you're last in points. If there was ever a week to get back on track it was this one. Better start making your computer pute, and research a way to right this ship.
With your back against the wall, you managed to get your first win before the Jets. This is a pivotal moment in your fantasy season Gordon. These are the turnback moments where you can either go forward towards a playoff push or stay in the doldrums of fantasy hell. This is that moment. You're on the cusp of getting CMC back, but you're still in last place and it won't be easy to contend for the playoffs. I'm gonna let Steve Harvey inspire you for the rest of the season with this speech below. Take this win as your first step towards the greatest turnaround in fantasy history.
Itz Gonna Ertz 116.10 vs Easy Drake Oven 141.35
This was sad to watch for you Trav. The trifecta was in full effect in the beginning of Sunday night, and then slowly they let you down. First Chris Carson decided to leave the game and got vultured for a TD by Carlos Hyde. Then to make matters worse, the cornerstone of your trifecta decided to throw the ball A LOT to your opponent's WR Tyler Lockett. It must've made you sick when you realized the highlight play of your WR is playing defense. I hate to tell you, but you're starting to build momentum like a snowball down these standings because you play DA GAWD next. Its a tough October playa.
Shorty, you finally caught a break. After weeks of misadventures, you finally let someone else know what it feels like to lose disastrously. Tyler Lockette single-handedly resurrected your team while it sat dead in the water. That type of performance makes me think you cried out on your knees on Sunday night to Gawd/me. You promised that you'd burn all your terrible towels and send an apology letter to AB and Bell just for the chance to get this win. It's a good feeling when you come back from the dead. Count your blessings and great win. We love the drama.
Green Eggs and SAM 121.60 vs Kamaravirus 125.25
This one must've hurt pretty bad Eddie. Despite your best efforts, Juan still squeaked out a win. That loss of Dak is now having ripple effects on your mental capacity. Somehow you thought a Dak-less WR3 CeeDee lamb was better than WR2 Cooper Kupp at home. But I gotta give you credit because you turned trash into treasure with Boston Scott and Geo Bernard. But this shit ship is sinking faster than you can dump out the water. Each time you think you get ahead, you lose another player. You've now lost Dak, OBJ, and missed out on Miles Sanders this week. I don't know what else you can do now but pray that you can hold on as you race to the playoffs.
I don't know what santeria type of rituals you been performing Juan, but you've now put together an optimal lineup for several weeks in a row. You've been rotating shitty QBs in and getting 20 points. When players under-perform, you manage to play a more inept GM. There's nothing bad to say about this. You're simply winning and quietly doing so. I'm guessing you won't sit on these laurels because you know it can be taken away at any minute. Until then, keep being a happy dad on Sunday nights and loving husband on Monday. You're having a great season and no one can take that away from you until Week 13. Congrats.
Samuel Lamer Jackson 130.05 vs falseProfits 166.80
You ran into the wrong one this week Gerald. I thought you started off the week well by starting Carson Wentz while Lamar was on a bye week. But by Sunday, I think you realized how bad your team is at RB, Dhop and Cooper can only take you so far, and Cole Beasely is only reliable while John Brown is out. Not that it would've mattered but you even started Humphries over Landry. Must be those middle of the night diaper changes getting to you. You're now faced with death itself in Gordon next week. Don't lose or you may be the one trying to outrun that loser tax. Good thing you got that new job. Oh and good looks on dropping AJ Green, I needed that.
Adam, you have silently thrust yourself comfortably into 2nd place without Michael Thomas or Austin Ekeler. You out here lighting up the charts without a record deal. With a strong showing from Kyler Murray, you are officially a threat to reckon with for the playoff push. I'm starting to see the confidence growing, since you even posted a great vid in the chat. You managed to flash kick Gordon all the way down to 11th place and land perfectly poised for the next few games. I'm happy that the next time I play you, you'll be without Kyler Murray. Until then, keep knocking down the people that stand in my way for a playoff spot.
Philip on my Chubb 147.25 vs ShuTheBUCup 189.35
Wasn't it just last week that you were laughing at Shorty for being able to beat just about anyone but faced the highest scoring team that week? You might be the only person across leagues to LOSE while having Davante Adams and Tom Brady this week. But what really hit hard were those injuries at RB. With Mostert sent to IR and Mixon out, you had to put all your marbles in on -0.10 points Jerrick Mckinnon. Despite all that, you still had a great week. You better hope Mixon gets healthy and Mike Davis sabotages CMC's usage, otherwise you're gonna have to holla at Gordon for a trade. This repeat of a chip is starting to look shaky and I don't think you can stay comfortably confident.
Stop the presses, but it looks like Hector has detached from Eddie and gotten the highest points of the week TWICE. This onslaught of points was found at every position. What's crazy is that he could've had 10 more points if he started J-Herb (he doesn't have a nickname yet, so we're gonna see what happens). The biggest stand out was the 24 points from the KC defense. Who needs to worry about Bell getting the rock when the defense does more damage. Great win this week as it sets you up as 1 game behind first. Now the key is to keep that lead and dominate your opponents each week - so don't blow it. (or at least wait til I play you).
A Team Has No Name 132.45 vs DA GAWD 141.90
I just want to thank you Jesus. We had ourselves a good matchup that came down to the wire because you sat Joe Burrow with 42 points. You're love of Watson blinded you to the idea that divisional games tend to bring out the best in players. Such a noble effort with a healthy squad. Your moment in the sun should've felt like the scene in the last Matrix when they fly the ship above the clouds and see the sun for the first time ever and then fall back down into the depth of the robot wasteland. Now its time for you to fall back with Godwin gone and Elliot lacking Dak. But like I said, thanks for allowing me to see another day with another win. Couldn't have done it without you. (the link below is the sample for this week's title track. If it don't open, just skip to 4:21, its just for you Jesus)
DA GAWD has now put together back to back wins as he climbs out the depths of the standings. For weeks, I watched teams steadily get wins while I dumpster dove for 'free' waiver players that ya'll looked over. I don't get the credit I deserve for coming back but ya'll gonna see it in my words. It just feels so good to be here in the playoff hunt. It feels so good to be alive and be a threat to ya'll fantasy championship dreams.
#AMEN
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