The Flute Song (Week 12)

Week 12 is in the books and it seemed a bit uneventful. Some teams climbed the rankings to make a comeback of the ages while others continue to fall farther from Olympus. I hope each of you cherished those moments with your loved ones this Thanksgiving. That's the last time they'll see you with hope and happiness in your eyes. Lets review the mistakes you all made.


Why Bother 92.35 vs This Team Iz America 179.65

Trav, I'm sure you didn't care this week - just like I didn't care. Just hold on. Week 13 is around the corner and it'll be all over. You can start to focus on next season. You'll have a future again. For now, just watch football like a normal fan and resume your normal Sunday activities. You can start planning for the next 3-4 weeks of things to do. In the next recap, I'll just list links for deal from Expedia or something. We'll call it your participation trophy.



Gordon, welcome back to the bye week. You've experienced quite the turbulent season to end up back here. With a strong score from this week and maybe a bit of help in Week 13, you can rest easy during Week 14. Now I'm only giving you this next bit of advice because I want to make the chip competitive. James White will no longer be the James White that has supported your team. Start thinking of ways to replace him now. Don't say I never did anything for you.



No One Cared Enough 115.40 vs ShuTheBucUp 160.40

Damn Jesus. Just when you were starting to make a strong comeback in the league. Looks like you couldn't escape the inevitable. Take solace in the fact that you wouldn't have won the chip even if you did make the playoffs. I'm wondering if this was simply the effect of drafting via Juan's phone/internet issues. Next season, we might have to consider getting you a Facebook Portal so that you can draft like you're in the room. Below is a glimpse of your final moments before the Walking Dead got you.



Hector, its good to see you with such high hopes. You out here flippin' those rubber tree plants and climbing right back in the playoffs. However, your quest isn't over young one. You have to protect this spot from those that may attempt to take it back. I advise telling your girl that you can't see the Nutcracker Radio City Music Hall Spectacular during Week 13. You have more important tasks. Keep training and you might go down against me Week 15.



The Vacant Lot 151.55 vs Green Eggs and SAM 202.30

Now that I own Adam's recaps, I'd like to talk about the genius behind Nickelodeon's Doug. His name is Fred Newman. He was pretty much the White version of the mouth sound guy from Police Academy. Fun fact, his daughter is an actress and was on Alpha House (not that I watched it). Bottom line, there's a lot of people talented out there and they're all better and more interesting than Adam's team.

Ed, congratulations on your first 200 pt game. I'm going to tip my halo to you because I thought you were a goner in terms of playoff potential. While you probably can't get the bye week anymore, just count your blessings that you're still in the playoffs. I wish I could put more plagues on your team, but I share too many players with you in other galaxies. Instead, I'll let someone else take you out Week 14. But well done this season. Back to back playoff berths is a good way to start.



The Falling Star 138.00 vs Mute Dave 158.95

After counting everyone's wins and losses, and it appears Gerald didn't pay closer attention to his own team's ability to stay in the playoffs. Week 12 has shown that there are too many zombies out in these streets and they're taking no prisoners. I always thought zombies liked brains, but clearly that's wrong because you didn't have the brains to start Watson. Even so, there's nothing you could've done to turn this week around. You lost. Simple as that. May the Week 13 odds be ever in your favor.



Dave - I hate you.



The Destroyer of Gawds 143.25 vs Saquon my balls 146.90

This match-up was the only one worth following this week. Quis, you and Juan both managed to leave some points on the bench, except your points on the bench lost you the matchup. How you start a WR3 over a RB1a is beyond me. You should be ashamed of yourself.



Juan went through Sunday morning mass to commune with Da Mortal GAWD. He asked for Da GAWD's divine wisdom and was blessed with it. However, prayers without actions are simply wishes. DA GAWD instructed him to start Njoku but failed to do so. While DA GAWD still blessed him with a win, those lack of points will come to haunt him while hunting for the bye week. So far though, I'm happy to see Juan managed to stay in the playoffs with such a turbulent season.



LightKamaraAction 120.95 vs DA GAWD 153.50

Shorty, I'm sorry to see you go out like this. We're 1 more week out and you can just focus on the Steelers' postseason hopes. You can still enjoy the thrill of a touchdown and celebrate in a meaningful way. I don't have much else to say that hasn't been said, so I'll just save all of my season long ridicule for you during the Week 13 recap.



If there was ever a week I was SUPPOSED to lose, it was this one. In mortal form, Da GAWD still outscored half the league. I don't know how the rest of you walk around in these flesh bags, but this feels disgusting. Now that Week 13 is upon us, the GAWD has ascended again. I may or may not have left a demi-gawd on Earth. So next season, don't be surprised if there are other unexplained wonders in the world. Anyway, nothing new to see here. I'm just here to show you all how good it is to be me, and how bad it is to be you.

#Amen

Thanksgiving (Week 11.5)

*Play the song til 0:28*

I just wanna thank Gawd
For all the wins he let into my life
All the wins he let me count
Wealth and health
For my family
And lettin' me ball on these niggas.

Waddup fellas. 

I figured I'd give y'all a preview what would run through my head during prayer before Thanksgiving Dinner 

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I'm not sure if its the weed, the lack of my trifecta this week (making me mortal), or the simple merriment of the Alcoholidays, but I appreciate this league. A mere mortal has learned the value of being thankful this season. Its all thanks to those guys. Watching their teams squirm, claw, gnaw and Leonardo DiCraprio themselves for a CHANCE at getting the chip is truly awe-inspiring. My team is so dominant, I'm a whole 3 games ahead of the next person. I have so many points, I could take a game off. But what is DA GAWD most thankful for?

He's thankful that they all have allowed me to "Purge" on their teams. For 12 weeks, Da GAWD has dominated in the digital AND mental arenas. I can hear the echo of 1000 screams from 1 of his 4 galaxies that are being conquered at this verymoment........... In another galaxy, DA GAWD had an 11% chance to win. And then won by 5. In another league - won by 8, against the 2nd highest total of the week. DA GAWD was even able to  complete a trifecta consisting of Kelce the son, Hunt the father, and Mahomes the holy ghost. 

That's what I'm thankful for.

Da Gawd is good, Da Gawd is great, let us thank him for this win.

The picture above wasn't that good. It was bad idea to have the green accent wall. Stupid risk. Anyway, I realized I was looking at my wedding photo and remembering what it was like to have skin - in a mortal's body. Then I looked back at the silverware and don't understand why their is placement of utensil etiquette.

And then I thought I'd let you guys know that thanksgiving is about celebrating with friends, family and loved ones.....who else would you brag about a dominating season to? 

#Happy Thanksgiving 

#Amen

Nightmares Of The Bottom (Week 11)

Here we are. Week 11 was so dynamic that Yahoo's database couldn't keep track of the stats and the wins. At this point, we have officially entered the territory where our league resembles the life cycle of the Tiger Salamander. Some of you laid dormant and finally developed teeth to take out your playoff bound brethren. Some of you are just bait. Either way, no one is safe (except DA GAWD) on their way to Valhalla. You can't continue to sleep at the top without nightmares of the bottom. Let's review.

Failure to Launch 107.25 vs Saquon my balls 194.65

Gordon, this was quite the shock this week. With only James White and Jarvis Landry on bye, you would've struggled to hit 100 pts if it wasn't for Jared Goff. For the record, Jared Goff's 47 monstrous points were more than the 20+ pts from Hunt, but that's neither here nor there. Damn shame when you match the point production of the worst team in the league. Bottom line, you got caught slippin and fell out of the coveted bye week slot. However, DA GAWD delivers on his promises and you will reside in the bye week slot when the playoffs begin. #amen.



Juan is a testament to the value of communing with DA GAWD prior to your match-ups. By reaching out to DA GAWD, he was blessed with his optimum lineup with the atomic game coming from Freak Hill. He even went the extra mile of starting his opponent's better TE which left Ebron with a goose egg. Not to be overlooked, this performance allowed Juan to leapfrog his way into a temporary 2nd place position and have the 2nd highest point total of the week. Congratulations on your redemption.
You and the Black Panther turned into Thundercats. Playoffs, Playoffs, PlayoffBerth...HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO




TravyCrack 107.65 vs Beard in the North 130.55

You know Trav, I just don't get it. You appear to be quite normal. You have all 5 senses. You walk erect. Yet you often act like a girl at work that's joining a fantasy league JUST to get closer to a work crush. Somehow, you've managed a lowly 1 fucking win in a league that has people draft Jordy Nelson in the 4th round. I've never seen someone own TWO defenses that BOTH score -4 points in the same week. Last week you mustered a respectable week against DA GAWD but now you follow up with this pathetic performance? From here on out you have 1 job. Ruin as many playoff hopes as possible. Hit the waivers and be active. You might catch up to Beard's win total (you only need 2 more).



Adam, I can't congratulate you on this win, since you sucked all season. However, it appears the all-spark has transformed your team back into a dangerous zombie. Here are your mission directives. Special Ed is convinced that he will be in the playoffs. Your job is to put together a scrappy crappy team of replacements led by Keanu Reeves to destroy Ed's QB-less, TE-less mediocre team. This isn't a tough ask, just act like you deserve that trophy you won last year and you keep your spot. Resurrect yourself to new heights.




The Ballad of Shorty 113.05 vs ShuTheBucUp 144.10

Damn Shorty, just when you were making a mad dash towards the playoffs, Hector stuck out his foot and you fell on your face. It just like that Stranger Things recap I had last season where you were the Sean Astin character that almost made it out the building. Instead you've been gouged and eaten alive and left for dead. I can even see how desperate you were this week by chasing Nelson Agholor's touches from the previous week. Sorry it ended this way Shorty. Look on the bright side though, you face me without my tri-fecta. You might exact the revenge you've been waiting to give me all season. Or maybe you fall on your face again.



Looks like Hector's "Mute Dave" impression is paying off. After spending much of the season searching for his balls like Easter eggs, he finally back in contention for a playoff spot. The Christian Kirk desperation start paid dividends to him. What could be even better is Hector taking Ed's playoff spot and telling him "Thanks for keeping it warm for me". Then, DA GAWD can once again destroy Hector so he goes back to his girl burying his head in her bosom like a 6month old breast feeding baby that's dealing with diaper rash. Continue your playoff run Hector, we got plans.



BigBlkHole 126.50 vs No One 131.10

You know those scenes in movies/real life when your a freshman in college and the teacher says "look to your left, look to your right, some of you won't be here by the end of the year". In this case, I warned everyone that each week the walking dead would sneak up on you. If you didn't get bit by Sunday night and your game was over, then clearly it was gonna be you Gerald. I mean, its not really your fault, but you should've sent up the prayers. By the grace of me, I could've saved your team. Maybe removed that Reynolds TD. Next time, you gotta aim for the head to kill the zombies.



Jesus, that was an entertaining matchup to see come out. When Reynolds caught the first TD, I didn't even know you had him. Then I notice that you had the Chiefs kicker. Each quarter you and Gerald traded WR blows while everyone wondered why Malcolm Brown's name kept being called. Your Angels in the Endzone imitation paid off. By the end of the game, you didn't even want the angels to help you. You simply wanted this win all on your own and you got it. Congratulations and keep fighting to stay playoff relevant. The upset will be fun to watch.



The Young & The Useless 144.64 vs Destroyer of Gawds 174.95

<Vacant lot sign> Seems we have a vacant lot here. Shit Sippin' GMs will be towed away. Since no one cares what he does anyway, I'm going to take the time to describe DA GAWD voice. Think of those metal things they use to mimic the sound of thunder in movies. Now imagine those metal things made of adamantium. NOW think of those adamantium metal things being the building block of my vocal chords. That's the sound that happens after every #amen and my prophesies come true. I like that. Mute Dave, your recaps are now the property of DA GAWD until the end of the season. No one wants to hear (get it? cause he's mute) about your suck-ass team anyway.



Quis, you've been putting together a solid performance on the low. You have a balanced attack at WR, TE, RB, QB and even managed 21 points from a defense that gave up 51 points on Monday. Clearly someone is going to have to go through you to reach the semi-finals of the playoffs. Luckily Da GAWD already has a bye week, so hopefully DA GAWD will face off with you once more and get the revenge I deserve. Just think, DA GAWD might get a chip before Quis. Its like I'm on that priority boarding to the chip while you on stand-by.



Special Ed  128.50 vs A$AP Touchdowns, aka The Legend of Zelda, aka Gawdstradamus aka DA GAWD 194.80

Everybody wanna act fly til you swat em. Week 4 you were sleeping at the top without nightmares of the bottom. Now that you've tumbled down the playoff seeds, I'd like to take some time and ridicule you at a molecular level. Inside your chromosomes is a defective loss gene that was implanted by DA GAWD to curse every QB you started since last year. Unfortunately, the symptoms of your plague take so long that there is no cure or repentance that could stop what has already been set in motion. BTW, its funny that you brought up the idea of getting the better end of a trade when I grabbed Derrick Henry for John Brown. That's where the plague started.  John Brown lit it up for you - for a time. Then it took a turn for the worse. I'd take a picture of John Brown's game log for the last 3 weeks, but it might get censored because its the equivalent to the logs left in toilet Bowles (see what I did there Jet fan?). He has been straight up basura the last few weeks. This week you were forced to hold a spot for John Brown instead of getting a better quality QB. (I know - diabolical the way I set up your fall from grace). You know who has 4 tds over the last 3 weeks? Derrick "Can't Quit Him" Henry. Damn DA GAWD is good. I been cookin' up this win for a month! That's how I crock-potted your team! You won't be able to EdVANCE your way to the playoffs this year buddy. FURTHERMORE, you must've thought that Carson Wentz wasn't on DA GAWD's payroll. He owed DA GAWD. He failed you in your time of need because he owed ME! Here's a clip of his testimony.

Guys, I got nothin' new to say. I'm great. My vocabulary has reached the maximum limit of applicable adjectives to represent my awesomeness. So instead, the snow storm that happened this week inspired me to give you a guys a little story about the reigning Superbowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles.

There was a recent study that there was a baby boom in Philadelphia in November which is 9 months after the Superbowl. DA GAWD's GOSPEL WILL SPREAD LIKE THE SEED OF CHEESESTEAK EATERS THAT PRONOUNCE BAGELS AS "BEGEL". The build up is here. DA GAWD will finally own 4 chips in a single fantasy season. 4/4. It'll be the "Wendy" season.




#Amen

Sacrifices (Week 10)

Week 10 is in the books and it looks like Gawdstradamus' predictions have come true again. Last week I warned each one of you on the playoff bubble that its World War Z out here. Teams that were cast out from the playoff hunt have been gnawing and clawing at your ankles to take you out of the playoff hunt. Let's see who lived to see another day and who ended up closer to skid row.

Green Eggs and WHAM 113.70 vs ShuTheBucUp 149.55

Ed, I warned you way back in your Week 4 recap that your team is shined up shit. Well the shine is finally starting to wear off. This week you started the QB that was FEEDING your opposing TE. It was a damn smorgasbord of TDs and catches to Ertz. Even DHop wasn't going to save this pitiful performance. You face DA GAWD next, so your slide out of the playoffs is almost complete. Thank everyone on the way down the way you should've thank'd them on the way up.



Better late than never, right Hector? You finally let your nuts drop in this game. Maybe it was because you were playing the friend that let us know that your balls are held in the vicegrip of your girl, or maybe you wanted to remind him how he got in this league in the first place. Either way, well done this week. I have to admit, I thought you were toast the second I saw Big Ben on your bench but you pulled it off. Decisions like that won't get you in the playoffs, but at least you spoiled someone else's chances.




Next Year's Open Spot 144.10 vs Saquon My Balls 145.25

Dave, you had one job as a zombie. To be 1 pt shy of spoiling, you left MULTIPLE players on the bench that would've gotten you the win. You started Larry Fitzgerald like its 2011 still while Corey Davis is flying up the charts. I'm sure you told everyone a sob story about how many points you had on the bench and "how could I start Kerryon when they're playing the Bears?!?!" but we all know you're a part-time player. I won't come to your office and expose the fact fantasy player that you are, but I want YOU to know deep down inside that you are not cut out for this.



Juan, you did it again. A prime-time, late-night showdown that you fell asleep through. This time you woke up to the pleasant surprise of Mute Dave's failure. Your matchup was the equivalent of watching someone JUST close the door behind them as the zombie reaches out to bite their leg. You live to fight another week and keep your playoff hopes alive. All the duds from last week turned back into studs. While you still need a new QB, you can still shake things up over the next few weeks. Thanks for the entertainment.



BigBlkPipeChokr 118.65 vs LightKamaraAction 155.85

What a disappointing week. When DA GAWD saw you on Sunday, he felt the energy of someone not primed to win their matchup. That same sense was the feeling I had when I walked into the bar and saw all the Jets fan and KNEW the Bills were gonna smash em. See, DA GAWD don't look at numbers or stats. He just gets cosmic energy and translates it into winning and losing. You sir, had the spirit of a loser before the matchup even began. Granted, there wasn't much you could do about the onslaught of Brees and Kamara, but DA GAWD himself pulled off his win in another galaxy against the same tandem. That's the difference between DA GAWD and demi-GAWDs. Now pick yourself up and try to keep a playoff spot, because some new blood is rising.

Well Shorty, looks like there's more life left in you than originally thought. You came out with the Reunion Tour of Brees and Kamara. You punished Gerald's spirits and then stepped on his neck when Breida and Kittle finished him off. Not to rain on this parade, but I think you were in a similar situation last year. A bad start. A name change. A late season charge to the playoffs to only come up short. I believe it was previewed in last year's recap "Stranger Things Edition" when I compared you to Sean Astin's character as he almost made it out the medical facility. I digress.....Good win this week.



Loser in the Eye of the Leveon Holder 90.10 vs This Team Iz America 153.70

Jesus H. Fuckin' Christ. Adam your team is literally the worst fantasy team I've ever seen from an active participant. If it weren't for David Johnson, you'd be STRUGGLING to get to 70 pts. Your team is ridiculously safe to play against each week. You are a guaranteed win. Your team is the equivalent of a man that wears old-school turtle neck sweaters and knits hats for the models in his miniature dioramas that he's been making since he was 5 years old. You better be really happy that we don't have a league punishment because you are certainly deserving of it. God damn you suck.



Ho-hum, another win for Gordon against a sub-par team. More of the same from last week I see. I score the highest in the league and then you score the second highest. Having Gordon in the league this year is a double-edged sword. On one hand, its amazing how well he drafted and I will most likely be seeing him in the chip. On the other hand, I wouldn't have had such a dominant season without him. In a previous galaxy, I lost to Gordon by gloating too early similar to how I lost Week 8. Fool me once.........Never letting you touch the chip.



No One Stepped Up 122 vs 133.60

Jesus, your matchup proved the powers of DA GAWD. When Da GAWD offered you the Mike Davis blessing, you got greedy. As a gracious GAWD, I fulfilled my promise and blessed him with a TD. But Kupp had to be sacrificed. You needed to know that as easy as the blessings come, they go just as quickly. I still think you got a decent shot at knocking someone out the playoffs - or die tryin'.



Quis, you were on edge on Sunday. Tom Brady's dud had you thinking you were on a slide. Luckily you pulled through with a win. Now that the stage is beginning to set, I will bless you with a playoff spot. Preferably, I will play you Week 15. You'll be high on getting a playoff win and then you'll face me. I'll make sure I take a video recap of my daughter laughing at the fact your team loss. Its only right.



SuperCrack 142.65 vs Da GAWd aka GAWDSTRADAMUS, aka A$AP Touchdowns 181.95

Trav, you fought valiantly this week. It felt like even though you're dead last, you had something to prove. Its like you tried to show the league and the world that DA GAWD was fake. That you could David my Goliath team. Unfortunately those are just stories and you went down like Leonidas. On the bright side, nobody expected much from you. So even with you best performance in quite a while, you were still doomed by DA GAWD curse. Here's to hoping you can stick around by next year and learn your lesson about picking DA GAWD's players.



After an absolutely dominant Week 9, DA GAWD has followed up with the most points in the league - AGAIN. The hieroglyphics in Egypts pyramids have foretold this type of season. DA GAWD has made prediction after prediction. I turned Nick Chubb into gold. I got Julio Jones TDs when no one thought it was possible. DERRICK FUCKIN' HENRY IS POPPIN'. Its a marathon not a sprint AND i I gotta win the race........And I'm convinced, I make sacrifices - I been ballin ever since. We seein so many blessings shit don't make no sense. Someone watchin' over us so shout goes out to him/me. Yeah I did some wrong, I had no choice in my defense. I had to trade Goff for Hunt during a panic attack.



#Amen

Confetti (Week 9)

Week 9 has piqued my interest back in the league. While its only 8 people in it, its a VERY competitive 8. The rest of the season is starting to look like the zombie apocalypse. For the 8 teams still alive, they'll have to continue battling with the 4 Walking Dead and avoid losses from them. They are dangerous and have shown that they can take out any one of you if they catch you slippin' in your pimpin' or slackin' in your mackin'. Let's review.

The Butterfly Effect 98.70 vs ShuTheBucUp 114.35

Trav, I won't even describe your terrible team this week because its like saying 'water is wet'. But I want you to think about something. If you had just given me Melvin in the beginning, this season would be completely different for everyone involved. I wouldn't have drafted Julio Jones and Michael Thomas. I wouldn't have tried to trade for Hunt since I would've already had Melvin. Quis wouldn't have trade raped you because you would have had Julio Jones and maybe grabbed Saquon Barkley because you didn't want two Falcons back to back. Ed would be a middle of the road team as we expected. Shorty might be relevant. We might've even had a 10 man league instead of this 8 man stuff. I just thought you should know - in case you wonder what life would be like in an alternate universe.



Congratulations Hector. Your squad of misfit players managed to beat the worst team in the league. Does the idea of winning make you feel good knowing that you can still get wins? Or does it make you feel bad knowing that even if you win out, you are probably the furthest from playoff contention because you can't score 150 pts? At least you don't have to go apple picking and stuff anymore. Now, you can just focus on ice skating in central park after taking a horse carriage ride through the city and smelling the horse shit that's in front of you while it brings you a sense of familiarity with the stench of your team.



Green Eggs and....DAMN 88.15 vs BigBlkPipeSlyr 130?

Ed, the time has finally come. You're horse and carriage turned right back into a pumpkin. I'd like to take this time to point out that I took Fitz so that you'd be left with awful choices like Flacco. It was almost diabolical. What's worse is that your pathetic attempt at 100 pts hurts in the overall scheme of the playoff picture. It'd be a shame if there was a plague on your team where you fall out of the playoffs because you don't have the points to keep you in the running. If you  go on a 4 game losing streak those points will matter. You're still up top in 2nd place but things are looking real shaky for you.



Finally my trusted disciple has delivered. While divine intervention from DA GAWD was needed, you managed to get the job done and solidify your place among the chosen few in the playoffs. Your team isn't bad and its not great, but that's exactly why you're right in the middle of the mix. It also explains how it took playing a team with less than 100 pts to get a win. Your schedule won't leave you so lucky as you keep going. Just count the blessings.



Frawds 118.80 vs LightsKamaraAction 162.30

Damn Quis. You were walking through the graveyard of teams thinking Shorty was your average garden snake and he bit you with viper venom. At first I thought you had like 3 people on a bye week when you started Jared Cook AND OJ Howard, but it was only OBJ on a bye. Your team gave up on you like the Raiders gave up on Jon Gruden. Don't let this loss turn into a 2 game slide. You're running into a hungry Jesus next week and he's gunning for that spot. Hope this loss wakes you up and puts you back on the grind. I need you to be in the playoffs so I can take my final revenge on you.



The boys are back in town!! Shorty, congratulations. It took a clash of the titans between the Rams and Saints, but you finally saw 150+ points again from your favorite duet. While there's no way you can make the playoffs, you can definitely start playing spoiler with your refreshed Dalvin Cook and Doug Baldwin. If you're gonna go out, you can go out with style and pride and bring everyone else down with you in a ball of flames. Some heroes don't wear capes. Congrats



Saquon this Loss 110.75 vs No One 116.30 

Damn Juan. This is the third time this season your games have come down to Sunday Night or Monday Night and you end up losing by just a few plays. The crazy thing is that you are were 2nd in points but your record doesn't really reflect a high scoring team. Instead you're stuck clenching your butt cheeks all night trying to avoid the fright and losing to a guy that had less than 10 points from his starting QB. I mean, I thought you were a lock for the playoffs but that commish curse might be creeping up on you. Theilen, Brown and Hill put up pedestrian numbers when you needed them the most. Maybe its time you don't talk shit before your teams play because you damn sure ain't backin' it up. Dust yourself off and figure out how to right this ship. The playoffs are close.



Jesus, I like the way you're clawing your way back to fantasy relevance. You were out here treading water and trying to hang around long enough to take advantage of the other teams mistakes. You're researching, hustling, doing everything possible to get every advantage you can. If you were a drug dealer, you'd take the seeds out of the weed that people throw away and grow them to make more and sell more. You hustlin' Jesus and I like the fight in you. You're the Rudy of the league for the playoff push now. Congrats on this week's entertaining win.



Mute Dave (I don't care) vs This Team Iz America 200.95

Blah blah blah Mute Dave. Blah blah blah stupid. Blah blah blah loser. You guys fill in the rest. Mute Dave is done.



Gordon, good win last week and this week. I don't know what goat's blood you drank or child sacrifice was made, cause you must've hit a trance-like state to foresee a good game from Nick Vannett. It looks like you and I collectively gained all the points in the league and left everyone else with crumbs. Your team really Iz an example American economic inequality. But let's not forget that Da GAWD proved to be the ultimate being again this week. Think of it like that time Jay-Z released an album on the same day as Nas' album. Your team goes quack quack and my team went quack A FUCKIN' QUACK!! However, a 200 pt game ain't nothin to scoff at so congrats. I'm getting my revenge on you in the playoffs. Enjoy the quest towards the upper echelon of Olympus.



The Chump, Formerly Known As Adam 78.75 vs DA GAWD *Click Here for Score*

Your confetti ain't even heavy, Adam. I beat you like a hidden bastard child that showed up during Thanksgiving unannounced and tried to disrupt a beautiful moment while carving the Turkey. As last year's champ, you have REPEATEDLY failed to reach 100 pts in a points per breathing league. I've never seen someone go 0 to face-plant in record time like you. You're the Fort Knox of Fucks because you've hoarded them all season and haven't given a single one. I hope you avert your eyes and hang your head in shame anytime the trophy crosses your line of sight. This blowout was brought on by your ignorance to the gracious trade I offered you for Bell in Week 5 - when you still had time to turn your season around. What's a trophy if you don't protect it? What's a name if they don't respect it? Naw, your confetti ain't even heavy.



After gaining an hour, DA GAWD had enough rest to prepare his Trifecta for the ultimate spectacle of dominance. DA GAWD was so great, he got Julio Jones his first TD in 90 catches. And it came to pass that Da GAWD said unto First Name, First Name, "Michael Thomas, fuck these niggas up!!" Bottom line, DA GAWD went nuclear to absolutely crush the week with an absurd 240 muthafuckin points. TWO HUNDRED, FORTY MUTHA FUCKIN POINTS. The sun is down. Its gettin cold. That's how we already know.......winter's here. Da GAWD would do it for a championship belt. That's just all he know.......he don't know nothin' else. He tried to show you........... Da GAWD is officially in Sicko Mode.



#Amen

**Reminder**

Week 13 Meetup to watch who's in and out of the playoffs