After a brief hiatus, Da GAWD is back in the galaxy to review the week. There's only a few more weeks until the playoffs are upon us. It was all fun and games til now, but some of y'all gotta buckle down and get serious. One more loss and you'll open up the gates of hell for the bottom feeders to have hope. Let's see how it all worked out this week and determine who had luck on their side.
This Team Iz Kang 84.75 vs Saved by the Dell 134.00
What a sad performance. There's very little to say here, which has been the case most of the season. After drafting all those receivers, they still can't be there for you. Between bye weeks and injuries, this just wasn't helpful week for you. It's like the harder you fight against the last place quicksand, the more it pulls you back in. At this point, you have two weeks to cling to a branch and save yourself. Good luck.
Better late than never to get your second win of the season. Your first round draft pick finally returned first round value. If I were you, I'd get re-energized with the thought that I could avoid last place punishment within the next two weeks. This win was just enough to put that spoiler jetpack on and ruin a few playoff hopes and dreams. Good win. Hope to hear from you in August in the chat.
The Syndicate 89.95 vs Get Off my Dak 147.75
After waiting all season to get your first pick back in the lineup, he's been lackluster. The eye test says he's still nervous about reinjury and doesn't want to explode yet. This loss comes at a critical point in the season so you don't want to string too many of these together. On top of that, Gesicki turned back into a Bengal kitten once Higgins got back in the lineup. You might have to resort to 12pm pick ups on Sunday morning to keep the playoff hopes alive. Good luck.
Who would've thought you would have been better off starting Taysom Hill at QB (not even TE) this week against a Browns defense that has Myles Garrett? This is just the win you needed to stay firmly in the hunt for the playoffs. Bonus points to you for starting BOTH Niners wide receivers. One of em was bound to go off and might as well hedge both of em rather than having Jennings on the bench for Keenan Allen. Solid win.
Machine Gun Kelce 124.80 vs Wilson! 134.35
I know this one hurt. Sunday started off with a BANGER with Goff going nuclear. You needed it badly because most of your team was on a bye (not that they were all that impactful anyway). Most teams are firmly in the playoff hunt but you might be in the danger zone. This starting lineup is probably the best it's gonna be the rest of the season. You better start praying for a consistency miracle.
You must be feeling on top. 3 TDs from Mixon at a time you needed it the most. Then the Steelers kicker single leggedly won your beloved Steelers game. It's almost like you're DESTINED to be in the playoffs at this point. Like it's all lining up perfectly like never before and someone is just looking out for you. You'll probably rattle off a few more wins and be ready just in time for the playoffs. Good win.
Your Chubby White Nabers 116.33 vs I Like to Marv it Marv it 162.55
Despite the way the matchup looks, I think this was one of your better weeks Adam. It's just unfortunate that you didn't play against Gordon or Ian. Even if you picked up a better TE at the last minute after LaPorta was ruled out, you still would've lost. You're still dangerously close to paying the loser fee, so dust yourself off and hope that LaPorta comes back with a vengeance.
Highest point total of the week and you did without a stack. Must be nice when Higgins finally comes back to play. After weeks of painful losses and watching the Jets look absolutely terrible, you probably needed this win. You're two games behind the 6th seed, so you're gonna need some perfect lineups and a bit of luck. But it's not over just yet. You don't have to be like the Jets.
Looking at the man in Jahmyr 141.25 vs Django Achaned 154.10
Last week, you had a coup d`etat and burnished Valhalla and knocked Da GAWD off his throne. But it takes more than one win to stay on top. If you were WORTHY of the throne, you might've started Xavier instead of Tyler. But don't worry. Your bye week is still secure. You've fought hard all season to make sure you get the respect you deserve on draft days to come. Maybe I'll see you in the chip.
Just when things looked bleak, that stack came to bail you out again. Sure, Pitts was gonna look like Pitts, but it was especially smart to take Elijah Moore. His QB hasn't seen a down field throw that doesn't look good and against his former team, it was a no brainer. There's enough time to steal a bye week from either Da GAWD or Trav, but we'll see how it shakes out. Like I said earlier this year, it's 2018 all over again and I plan on seeing you in the chip. Except you got the stack now.
Team DQ 134.85 vs Da GAWD Al Gaib 135.75
Before Monday night's game, Da GAWD looked at your lineup and immediately saw the problem. You committed a cardinal sin - starting a defense against not one but TWO of your players. As such, when Aubrey scored, it took points away. And when the defense gets your player concussed, it's even worse. Good fight in you though. This was definitely the week to take advantage of a donut in my WR spot. At least you're still in the playoffs.
Lucky me. If you want my spot you gonna have to come for me. Just know I want this chip more than whatever it is you want this season. And the only thought at night that comforts me is beating whoever's hunting me. Winning by less than a point is still a win. Lucky me I guess.
#Amen