Week 7 had the usual fun right? Injuries to guys during games when you need em the most. Having no one to start but waiver wire lottery tickets. Yet, we solider on. Each week gets harder as we fight for the coveted playoffs spots in route to the grand finale. At some point rosters will be healthy, but will your final product be enough to get you to the top? Let's recap.
OlympusHasFallen 110.00 vs Chasing Flowers 167.20
Watching your first loss of the season come at the hands of Quis was pure comedy. You stayed silent all season in the chat but when you saw Quis' name you panicked. PTSD of horrible losses had you trembling while looking at the app. You pulled your Jets comforter up to your neck like a kid afraid of the dark. Then Thursday night made some of those fears real. Then you started Jalen Coker after the disappointing Devonta Smith news. Then the Jets went Jets and lost to the Dolphins. In a last ditch effort to salvage the week, you wanted to tail your nemesis with bets. Judging by the silence, I think you lost that too. Dust yourself off though, at least Skat is a feature back again.
If there's any way to get that swagger back, its to play Eddie when the Jets are facing a winless team. Thursday night got things poppin for you and you never looked back. You got the extra satisfaction of beating Eddie by having your namesake RB beat up on the Jets. Emotional damage at the highest level. Great win on the week and highest point total. Da GAWD wants to thank you personally for foiling Eddie's plans on longest undefeated streak to start the season. You might be getting back in the mix with this win.
Team 7th Circle of Hell 115.15 vs U Can't CMC Me 123.95
The week looked like this was yours to win. Thursday got your kicker 15 points and Irving was running buck wild. So you put your phone down to watch some basketball. Meanwhile, Nico and LaPorta weren't getting the guidance they needed to put up enough points. To top it all off, you're defense gave up -3 points. You had to know Lamar wasn't playing in the game. Why expect the defense to stop a divisional rival like that??? That highest point total of the year must've been your chip because you're phoning it in. You and Trav are dangerously close to the Gordon spot.
Another week without Lamar and everyone on bye and you still got the win. It was ballsy to keep the Jags defense and start Tyrone Tracy but here we are. It paid off and Tracy paid the cost. Cousins and CMC led the charge back into the win column for you. This ragtag scrappy roster is getting some favorable matchups. Not sure why you're still holding Price with Charbonnet ready to return, but I'll leave you to your own decisions. I don't need more competition for a bye week. Good win.
My 3 TE's 126.40 vs Amon-Ramen Noodles 145.70
With your season on the brink of collapse, DA GAWD is stunned at this roster mismanagement. You're holding on to THREE TE's like you have Gronk, Jimmy Graham, and Aaron Hernandez. At some point, you have to trade one of them to get some value back on your team. Otherwise, you're gonna be in hanging with Gordon talking about 5th round draft picks that could blow up in 2028. In 2024, you had a 9 game win streak. Get back to that mode. We don't want your loser fee to cover cookies that you won't eat.
Looks like Tony Pollard took baton this week before Kenneth Walker could grab it. 3 TDS from Pollard, 150 yards from Sun GAWD, and Immaculate Concepcion coming through with 129 yards put this away. You had points to spare with Odunze and its not that big of a deal. Strong chance that Waddle doesn't play the next few weeks and you'll need Odunze to step up big. Just remember that the altar is always open for those Odunze prayers. Solid win.
King Quon 141.80 vs Ja'Marrageddon 153.25
Da GAWD didn't have the hurt to insult your team name, the loss was insulting enough. Like I prophesied in last week's recap, you'll lose a player to injury every week. This time, it was Aaron Jones on the week that my coveted Jordan Mason came back. The matchup was still close with Barkley playing on 1.5 legs. I thought it was ballsy to even start em knowing that it was possible that he wouldn't play. But when things were looking up, you fell back into those old Charlie Brown ways. The victory was snatched away right when you thought a comeback was in sight. Let's hope Tre Tucker doesn't get hurt next week when you start em. (Been a while since I used this Gif for you, but it felt right)
Another week, another hard fought victory. Every week you patiently wait for one of your studs to bail you out and they always do. You had to phone in the challenge yourself to get the Loveland TD. Then you had to wait for Jamar Chase to get a TD like you were waiting for your parents to get done talking so you could go home. Lucky for you, its still all working out. Solid win on the week as you keep your playoff spot. The road ain't easy but you're making it look that way.
The Syndicate 148.60 vs Team DQ 162.20
I really hope you didn't stay awake for the finale of this game. Midway through MNF it looked like it was going to come down to the wire. The Dak/Lamb stack was putting you within the win. But then garbage time running got the best of you. Even worse, Javonte scored a TD and got enough rushing yards to put him in the bonus - guaranteeing a victory for DQ. It was a hard fought battle. You were working on fumes. I've never even thought to roster RoJo, K Mumpfield or J Lane (I won't bother looking up there names - that's how bad it was). Tough loss.
In a week that you didn't have Josh Allen nor Davante Adams, I thought for sure you'd be susceptible to a loss. Yet the combo of Javonte and Jameson Williams did the heavy lifting. After breaking the FAAB bank on Cooper, you started him and it paid off. All great GM moves. Its gonna be fun when you break the silence in the chat with an early exit in the playoffs. Til then, keep ignoring us.
This Team is Dead 86.20 vs Da GAWD Al GAIB 114.15
Finally took my advice to start Blake Corum huh? Maybe you'll take some other advice and quit that other league. Guaranteed that you'll have a respectable fantasy season again. Its been almost 10 years since that season existed. How much longer are you going to hold on to the version in your head and the version of you that's barely getting to a 100 points each week? Reality is knocking on the door and you just won't answer. Its ok though. Play spoiler the rest of the season. Ruin people's fantasy hopes while they live with the stench of losing to you. That's all the pride you have left.
You ever hear that advice about arguing with idiots? They can't tell the difference from a distance. Playing Gordon made DA GAWD stoop to his level by barely scoring over 100 pts but luckily he beat me with experience. I knew the week was gonna get weird because I was supposed to have a cake walk. Then Egbuka goes out. Da GAWD picks up Wicks....Wicks goes out. Last ditch, DA GAWD remembers draft day and sees Caleb Douglas available again. He gets blessed with a blowup game. Can't make this up. Da GAWD's squad is too hard for the radio or the recaps. This masterpiece of a season is gonna be in the history books.
#Amen
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