Week 2 of the NFL season is officially Week 4 of the preseason. All injuries are on the table and teams are still working out kinks. An unprecedented 6 teams couldn't score over 110 points. Its one thing when just Gordon struggles. But when half the league fell victim to the injury bug, you know there's something up. At the very least, we can all take a knee on shit talkin because half of us are in the same boat. Name of the game this Week was health. Let's see who remained healthy and who had season tickets to the medical tent.
Chasing Your First Win 96.45 vs Team DQ 157.90
Nothing worse than watching players go off on your bench while the starters either get hurt or put up a dud. Da GAWD snickered because that Kelce trade from 2019 set your championship runs in motion and Kelce proceeded to ball on the bench. But then I saw Bryce balled out too. Stevenson couldn't do better than 3 points in a game where the Patriots D stifled the Steelers? To top it all off, you couldn't use the newly acquired Zay Flowers. I think the league was having a prayer circle after that trade just so you wouldn't benefit. Its just week 2 for the champ though right? You've been here before. Don't worry.
At this point, you should just change your logo to Josh Allen's picture. He was your whole team going into Monday night's game. Adams and Allen accounting for half your points has to feel good and worrisome at the same time. I think you have enough balance that the days that Joshy doesn't bail you out, the rest of your team will come to play. Congrats on your first win of the season.
This Team Is Hammered 100.95 vs StatueofGibbserty 118.20
If there was a week that you were going to get lucky and win, it was supposed to be this one. With so many underperformances/injuries, I thought you had a legit shot. You had viable players. But then Jayden Daniels went down and Terry dropped a would-be bomb TD. Probably enough points to get you the win if we're being honest. I'm stunned you didn't start Henderson when he was healthy. Especially over Quentin Johnston. Especially since the Chargers are BEYOND trash through 8 quarters of football. At least you got one thing right and got Purdy. At this rate, you'll have a fully functioning fantasy team by Week 8.
There was a recap from years ago where I talked about you painting your toe nails Jet green while watching the game. Fast forward to now and you have a QB with painted nails that shed crocodile tears because he didn't stretch his hamstrings. Despite him failing in bad weather and you starting the wrong TE (against your own coveted Jets no less) you managed to squeak out a win. Not a hard task when facing Gordon but definitely difficult considering the minefield of injuries out there. Congrats.
Team GPT 100.50 vs Amon-Ramen Noodles 169.85
By Monday night, it must've felt good to just let Puka ride. Didn't matter if he played or not because even if he had Devante Adams' game, you still would've lost. The rougher part is losing Jayden 'Twigs" Daniels. We've yet to see if Jordan Love can get it done and QBs are dropping like flies so far. Injuries happen though. So as soon as Nico and Puka are healthy, you should be in fighting shape again. Just ask ChatGPT if you should start Boston or Addison in Week 3. Don't think too hard.
Highest points of the week. 2-0 with a Goff/Sun-God must have you feeling mighty fine. While the rest of us struggle with injuries, your top 3 players seem to be able to get you a win each week. We even saw a rare Diggs sighting for the TD. Between you and me, you might want to start Carnell Tate Week 3. You're on a roll and it would be the best switch for Diggs without Daniels. Keep riding high on the wins, they're a rare commodity these days.
King Wrong 102.80 vs U Can't CMC Me 105.25
Damn Joel. You almost won this one on Sunday night. First DJ Moore went down with an injury and somehow managed to score negative points. Then Saquon went on a milk carton for the first half of his game and let Tank Bigsby take his TD. When all hope was lost, Mahomes and company managed to make their game go into OT while you climbed from the depths to get close to a win. But then they fell just short of a TD in OT that would've got you a win. Ya win some you lost some. The good thing is that Herbert is gonna make great waiver space for you to pick up someone now that he's certified caca.
When you saw DJ Moore go down, I'm sure you felt pretty good for Sunday. But then you watched 4 quarters go by wondering what Marvin Harrison Jr was suited up for. Was he a decoy? Was he even blocking? Then Price popped up with an injury and Drake London was caught being frustrated (rightfully so) on camera. Did you stay up all Sunday night waiting to see the outcome of that OT game with Mahomes breathing down your neck? Either way, a win is a win even if its close. Just drop MHJ for now so Gordon can pick him up.
Ja'Marrageddon 107.90 vs The Syndicate 153.85
Sunday started off hot with Ja'Marr Chase getting two TDs and one of the best top taps of the weekend. But then the injury bug got let loose. We all knew it was a matter of time, but we thought you had at LEAST until Week 4 with Dobbins. Loveland had a slight improvement from last week with one catch for 3 yards and then got bull rushed on the last play like he was a practice dummy. Maybe Week 3 he'll have 2 catches for 10 yards. At least Aubrey showed up with almost 17 points. You're gonna need everything you got next week though when you face off against SunGod, Goff, K9 and Waddle. Maybe Ferguson and Pickens go off :shrug:
Now I see the insistence on getting this recap. After coming up short last week, you came through in Week 2 with the second highest point total of the week. To top it all off, no one got hurt. The Dak/Lamb stack paid off big and Kyle Pitts finally registered some points. Considering all the injuries out there, you might have some good trade bait with Bo Nix sitting on your bench. Lord knows a bunch of teams need em. Congrats on the win and getting out of the win-less category.
My Njigba 142.60 vs Da Gawd Al Gaib 83.75
Going into Sunday, I knew I was toast. Cook's TD kept getting vultured and I knew I needed all of em if I was to stand a chance against JSN. Before every throw in the red zone, I just said "I bet its another JSN TD". I finished all the laundry at 8pm and just waited for week to be done. Despite all of this, its not an excuse. You put together a great week for the players and of course, barely anyone was hurt. Keep proving the haters wrong and that all you need in order to draft is complete solitude and silence. Good win.
Da GAWD isn't worried though. I'm now treating this season like a snake in the grass. I'll wait for everyone to get healthy and go on a historic run of domination. Until then, have fun picking up the waiver guys you want. Don't worry, Da Gawd will still be on top.
#Amen
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