Make Them Pay (Week 9)

 

I don't know about ya'll but Week 9 just turned the heat up just a notch in the fantasy realm. 5 Teams have the same W/L record in playoff spots 3-7. Two teams are behind those five by one game. Points are going to matter more than we realize as we get closer to Week 13 and it looks like the trade deadline is going to come with no help to any team. Its getting dark out here. Let's recap. 

Kevin Dyson 100.20 vs StatueofGibbserty 100.25

What are the chances that the two lowest scores of the week matchup against each other. Then think of the chances that those lowest scores managed to have a .05 margin for victory. Yikes. As if this season wasn't already full of disappointment in Saquon and DJ Moore, you had to watch as no Vikings QB could make Justin Jefferson relevant. So many opportunities for one yard. If Mahomes didn't come out for 2 plays. If Swift just ran one more yard. If Cam Little kicked just one more yard. Not gonna lie though. Its fun seeing you back on the wrong side of fantasy matchups. You should look up what Kevin Dyson is up to these days.

Finally. Someone else can catch the bad beats in fantasy instead of you right Eddie? After that one blip with the yipps from Quis, you seem to have gotten back on track. Man. 8-1. Must be a thing of beauty. The sad part is that you used up your lifeline for the win this week. Everything is just working out too well for you this season. It makes the inevitable fall off that much more likely. I really wanna know how you'll handle it if you don't win the fantasy chip this year. Maybe you do win and give me the Kanye speech. Or Da GAWD will have a good laugh in December. 

My Njigba 108.40 vs Chasing Flowers 148.05

I hope you were able to forget all the worries of fantasy football while you were out in Vegas. You're still stuck starting 3 mediocre TE's. The only saving grace is that you didn't give up JSN to Quis. While this week JSN didn't do much, he will UNDOUBTEDLY do more in the following weeks. So I can't ridicule your team that much. You did the right thing. However, starting Ladd McConkey while the Chargers O Line looks literal swiss cheese has got to be weird. Worthy against the Jets had to be the better pick. While none of it ultimately matters since you and Gordon are best buds, you can still make better decisions in the losses. Maybe the lights got to you. 

Another week, another win, and another chance to climb back from the depths. While we all want to blame Gordon, the Quis stack is what's putting in most of the work here. All of this was done without Garret Wilson as well. If you managed to finagle another trade, we would have had to have serious talks. Luckily you're still at normal levels. The only hope I have is that you end up in the bracket with Eddie (maybe he even loses the bye week) and knock him out the playoffs for my amusement. Either way, good win this week despite no production from Zay Flowers. 

This Team is Hampton Inn 114.70 vs The Syndicate 145.65

In the off season, I always hear how excited you are about the fantasy season. That this one will be different. You're starting to sound like a deadbeat saying you'll take the kids to Disney World. Its just so bad because you're trying your hardest and there's nothing you can do. Josh Jacobs finally starts showing value and now he's out for weeks with a hand surgery. Michael Wilson is done for the season. AJ Brown is a shell of himself. Your TEs are Gesicki and Higbee. You're only two games better than the real life Chargers. Sad man. Its like you're sitting at lunch by yourself. Even the stinky kid got a friend.

Things were looking a little rough there for a few weeks. You were dangerously close to fighting Trav for the seat next to Gordon. Luckily the Dak attack with CeeDee (just learned this week that his name is Cedarian) put over 60 points alone. But you're not out the woods yet. Treyveon Henderson sending out messages like he's about to retire and the Colts are giving JT 10 carries like they're trying to preserve him for next season. You're in fighting shape but the decisions you make going forward will determine your chances for a playoff run. Good luck out there and good win. 

U Can't QB Me 119.55 vs Amon-Ramen Noodles 138.50

Some people hit up Da GAWD for some start em sit em advice and asked if they should start McCarthy or Shough. I explained (to exact detail) that the Saints play like super heroes at home and that JJ played with no one having film on him. But what I should've said is that a guy in my league is snake bit at QB and whoever he starts will get hurt. Its not all bad though. You're still spirit linked with Quentin Johnston to get some production. Plus, you finally got some production from London, Olave, Price, and Fannin. I'm just curious which QB you'll sacrifice in Week 10 to get hurt. Just dont let it be the Vegas QB. We can't have that. 

Another week where Kenneth Walker had to single-handedly save your entire team. While you got the much needed win, those 40 points on your bench with Jordan Love might come to haunt you in Week 13. I digress. You still got the win. Bonus points for Sun-GAWD scoring more points than JSN this week. (Take that Quis! Right??). Starting the Saints RB was a dicey move but clearly the only move you could make since you couldn't trust Odunze over Diggs. Keep fighting.

Team DQ 138.70 vs Team 7 Heaven 186.70

Live by the Josh Allen. Die by the Josh Allen. Your team put up respectable points when compared to some of the other teams in the league, but it just wasn't enough. Cooper showed up again on the stat sheet, but Jameson Williams went missing this time. At some point you might have to make the tough call on dropping Devante Adams. There's a few weeks left and IDK if your supporting cast can keep you afloat in the event Josh Allen looks mortal. Oh and thanks for contributing to the chat this week with the Henderson news. Didn't know you were still here. 

Life must be pretty damn good. Back to back weeks of highest point total in the week. Bucky still putting in that work. Breece finally came back into the roster. Matthew Golden not droppin the ball. Plus you're able to watch asses walk by you (without capture I might add) while you sip drinks with umbrellas and see your team winning in fantasy AND real life (Giants). Doesn't get better than that huh? Congrats on the win this week. Well deserved. 

DA GAWD Al GAIB 132.75 vs JaMarrageddon 152.75

Da GAWD tried his best this week. I knew going into it that all my best players had atrocious matchups while yours were poised for wins. When Jamar Chase hit my bet by halftime, I knew I was in for a long day. Then I had to watch the Giants slowly defeat my lowly Eagles. All in all, it felt like this was payback for a recap back in 2018 when you were almost going to beat me and then it didn't happen. Seeing Watson go for two deep catches and a TD was the nail in the coffin. Good win. 

Two weeks in a row where I lost decent matchups. Should've left the Browns defense in but that's what tinkering last minute does. Da GAWD knows better. No more though. Just wins from here on out. The bye week is the time DA GAWD is able to bask in clear headed thought for the playoffs. Its still got my name on it. I'll make them all pay for thinking that two losses will keep Da GAWD down. 

#Amen

What Did I Miss (Week 8)

Its the end of Week 8 and we're on the other side of the fantasy season. After a bumpy start, the competition level is now very high. Three teams are tied with Gordon for last place, while a four teams are tied for second. There's very little room for error moving forward because it won't take much to get you in or out of the playoffs. A 4 game win streak (even from Gordon) can solidify a playoff spot. Let's review the week. 

 The Syndicate 102.05 vs Chasing Flowers 153.10

What a terrible time for your fantasy squad. Jonathan Taylor recognizing this might be his last time in Indy and puts up a measly 6 points. Jeremiah Love goes to IR after being slated to run against the worst defense in the league. Then you had to watch Allgier get the points Love was destined for. To top it all off, one of the top kickers in fantasy managed to score zero points because he missed a FG and his team actually scored more than 1 TD this week. Rough times indeed. Time to pray for those players on your bench to step up big. 

I said it last week that the swagger was back. This time, the Quisfecta was in full operation. Joe Burrow had a whopping 6 total TDs and scored almost 50 points despite having 3 INTs. Tee Higgins followed up with 37 points and Chase Brown finished with 16. These 3 players alone almost matched your opponents total score. And just think, you were able to accomplish all of this without taking advantage of a friendship through trading. Good work. 

U Can't Be Serious 102.10 vs Ja'Marrageddon 146.95

Good grief. You lost 3 players in the same week to IR. The injury hat trick no one wants to accomplish. To be fair, you were without Olave or CMC so the battle was going to be hard no matter what you did. But watching London sit at 1 catch for 8 yards while Penix turned the ball over 4 times had to be depressing. I imagine you were at the bar just staring into a pint like you were reminiscing a lost one. The only positive from this was that CMC remained unscathed from this disaster by being on your bench. 

How does it feel to have a fantasy matchup wrapped up by 2pm on a Sunday? After Christian Watson out did the Paul Pierce wheelchair game, you were smooth sailing. You didn't need Aubrey's kicks, Loveland's catches, or Drake Maye's rushing TDs. Just feet up, some chips, and genuine football enjoyment while the Giants had a bye week. Doesn't get better than that. Good job this week. I'll see you in Week 9.

Team DQ 110.85 vs This Team is Hampton Inn 113.85

Woof. After getting great production from your shiny new waiver pickup, watching Omar Cooper fill the stat sheet with a 0 had to be demoralizing. Then to watch your first round pick put up 8 points like he's Isiah Crowell? Ouch. As usual Josh Allen came to play. But worst of all is that you lost to Gordon. You stooped down to his level and he beat you with experience. Be careful out there.

Your second win of the season. Some of us thought this day wouldn't be possible. Yet you did it, despite starting Michael Penix on a day he had 4 turnovers. I still can't believe you started him after watching what the Bucs did to their other division rival just a week ago. But that's why you're 2-6. A win is a win though. Right now, there are 2 other teams tied with you at 2 wins. You can crawl your way out of last place and have some dignity to your name. Good luck and good win. 

Amon-Ramen Noodles 124.00 vs King Quon 156.10

This one had to hurt Jesus. Between Thursday and Sunday at 4pm, you had a commanding lead against your opponent. Tony Pollard continued showing RB dominance while Sun Gawd was robbed of a TD. But then the 4 pm games got started and the clouds turned dark. K9 didn't show up with the Tony Pollard dominance that was needed and the Chiefs lost a strong lead - just like you were about to by Monday night. All isn't lost since you're tied for 6th place at 4 wins, but you better lock in.

Just silently hung around until you could squeeze out this win huh? The early slate of games blessed you when Hall was announced to be out. That let Braelon Allen go off. Then Josh Palmer goes down early to make room for DJ Moore to re-emerge. Then you topped it off with a Monday Night Football 3 TD hat trick from Swift. The patience allowed the comeback. Good job on the win. You looked like you'd be close to those 2-6 teams. 

My Njigba 125.10 vs StatueofGibbserty 148.55

Now this one was strange. You looked like you had a decent shot at winning this matchup. But now that I'm doing the recap, I see where things went wrong. You started 3 TEs instead of the max of 2. If anything, the writing was on the wall the Colts would play like crap considering the dismantling, so starting Warren was dicey. It doesn't help when McConkey was on the bench with 13 points either. There's a saying in poker that you can almost guarantee that you lost the hand if you have 3 pairs (a pair on the board and two of your cards). The same thing applies to these TEs. Go trade with Gordon's non-existent TEs and make your teams worthy of the fight again. 

After last week's panic attack, it looks like you got yourself back on track. Without Nabers, Skat, or Devonta, you had to cook up something a little special. Luckily, Jonah Coleman went nuclear in the 4th quarter to pull away on the week after robbing Juan blind of his FAAB money. While I side-eye your decision to hold a kicker, it looks like it didn't hurt you as bad as expected. Sadly, Brissett won't be here to see Week 9 on your team but at least you still have Iceman himself Caleb Williams. Good win. 

DA GAWD was So Close 161.10 vs Team 7 Heaven 167.35

Congratulations on a hard fought battle Gerald. Somehow you managed to have Bucky in a game script where 0 passes were completed. Then the Commanders put the Eagles QB in the dirt repeatedly. This was fluky but still all the right plays. You could've played Stafford against the lowly Chargers but made the right play with Daniels. There's nothing bad to say here except good game. 

DA GAWD came close but didn't do enough to secure the victory. I sat too high on the morals of Allgier going nuts after Love AND Bam Knight went down after Brissett got benched. At least we know who I won't be sitting for the next few weeks. I knew had a inkling of a switch out for a start sit. I knew I needed to start Kupp but not sure which one. Could've been Mason or Coleman and that would've won the matchup. We just learn and move on for week 9.

#Amen