What a week. After last week's TE TD thunderstorm, teams came back down to earth. With 4 weeks left of the regular season, we've got 4 teams in the hunt for the playoffs that are only behind by 2 games. It's still anyone's race to compete and there's plenty that could go right (or wrong ) leading up to the chip. Let's review the week.
This Team Iz Kang 88.50 vs Your Chubby White Nabers 113.45
Now this was just low effort. At first glance you'd think Olave getting knocked out the game for the 2nd time in 3 weeks was the reason for your downfall. But there's multiple areas of disappointment. You left Amari Cooper in when they said he'd be out Sunday morning. Then Tyreek didn't get the 60 yd TD that can bail you out. You're still weeks away from getting Evans back. Just start scraping together that loser fee by asking for donations at the end of your comedy sets. Put it on a T-shirt with the Goucho Back meme.
Looks like you're climbing out of your loser fee era. Even though starting Miles Sanders and Kraft was wild, you got a win. Don't make a habit of leaving points on the bench though. The standings are still very close for the playoff race and every point counts. I'd give you more props for the win but you beat up on Gordon. It didn't take much.
I like to Marv it Marv it 113.30 vs Looking at the man in Jahmyr 119.20
Yikes. When that stack misses, it REALLY misses. Kyler and Marvin combined for less than 10 points on a day that the Cardinals scored 29 points. It must've been torture watching the Cardinals run the ball all day. The bright spots were still bright though. Devonta had a one handed grab that was outdone by "THE Hurdle". Otton still proved his waiver pickup value. You wouldn't have beaten anyone but Gordon this week, so go back to the drawing board to get right for the playoff race. It's now or never.
Even in a game where Xavier Worthy manages to run for NEGATIVE 10 yards, you still get the win. At this point in the season, you should point everyone to your GAWDLY record when they ask why you make the decisions you do. The guy you "gifted" in the trade still lost and Patrick Mahomes had his best fantasy game of the season. Let em know who you are this season (or tell your girl to let them know since she's making these fantasy moves). It's gonna be a doozy fighting for supremacy in Olympus.
Machine Gun Kelce 100.75 vs The Syndicate 152.90
Boy oh boy. Bet you thought you caught a lick when you got Goff for Mahomes. But between Goff, Mattison, and Wilson, you got 14 points. It's gonna be really hard to win games with that type of production. Maybe things will turn around when AJ and DK get healthy. For your sake, you better hope it's before Week 11. Not too many chances to make the playoffs after that.
Another week and another back-against-the-wall win. I low key thought about taking Gesicki all week, but Da GAWD was gun shy from tinkering last week when the coveted undefeated season was over. But you made the right call and had him ball out for the easy win. You're firmly in playoff position, so as long as the others continue making hair-brained moves, you can join the battle in Olympus. Or maybe CMC comes back and gets injured Week 13 after you held em all season. Who really knows?? (Gawd shrug)
Team DQ 140.85 vs Get Off My Dak 146.55
What a nasty case of Balling on the Bench. It's like you sneezed and then had Josh Downs (against the Vikings defense) over Zay Flowers. Then as you laid down with some Puka Nacua soup to feel better, he crashes out and gets ejected. That was doubly bad because that meant even MORE targets for your opponent that has Kupp. I mean what are the chances that such a crazy turn events can happen to one guy in a fantasy matchup. Congrats on bringing more life into the world though. A fantasy matchup is an easy sacrifice for a dope day. I just realized you won't read this so forget it.
Things were looking pretty bleak when Dak was getting roasted on the field and online. But things really started turning around when Puka got rejected. Kupp started running it up. Then you got that old thing back with Justin Jefferson to get right by Sunday night. Week 10 just might have your team at full strength for what feels like the first time in the season. There's s still room for your in this battle but unfortunately, I need Shorty to beat you in order to face me in the semi's.
Saved by the Dell 138.90 vs Wilson! 165.80
Just when you started to have players perform you had to run into highest point total of the week. To add insult to injury, JSN absolutely crushed it on your bench. But that's been the story of your season all year. Right place, wrong time. Right time, wrong place. Seems like no matter what you do that loser fee is tattoo'd on you. On the bright side, I hope you start TJ Hockenson next week. You've had him all year on your bench doing nothing. Just see what happens.
Highest point total of the week. Congratulations. This is the type of success I wanna see outta you from now til the playoffs. I want you to ride HIGH with big dreams of hoisting the trophy. I want you think about tucking that trophy in at night saying "it's finally mine". Let it all play out in your head. I want you to have false hope in every one of your players until you face me. Excellent win this week.
Django Achaned 147.75 vs Da GAWD Al Gaib 152.05
Your blood pressure must be all over the place. Two weeks in a row you had to wait for end of week scenarios and close matchups. I'm really curious what was worse?
Losing your fantasy matchup by the final play on OT.
Watching Saquon Barkley perform a move NEVER seen on a football field, IN AN EAGLES JERSEY, with your fantasy opponent having him at the same time
Personally I think I know but just let the chat know out of curteousy. It was a valiant effort but unfortunately you lost. Take solace knowing you're not fighting for your playoff life like the others.
DA GAWDs loss last week reminded him of his mortal life. The pain and suffering that you all must go through. But after witnessing THE HURDLE, all the powers came flooding back. On Monday night late in third quarter, Da GAWD noticed his previous disciple having less than 25 yards. Da Gawd channelled his energy to achieve astral form. From then on, an explosion of offensive was bestowed on the field to will the victory. When I awoke from that form, the win was sealed. I didn't even have to take out the Nee-Nah to get him.
#Amen
