One more week down and two teams are stuck with two wins. Some teams are three wins away from a playoff berth with only three weeks left in the regular season. In reality, its only a battle for those last four playoffs spots since last place is nursing a five game losing streak while first place is on a six game win streak. Some teams waited seven weeks to have their studs play and first place already has eight wins on the season. Let's recap week nine to figure out the math of winner and losers.
Samuel L-5 Jackson 99.50 vs Los Lobos 142.90
Reesie, there's not much to recap other than the inevitable loss we all saw coming. Last place is starting to look good on you, only if it offers the rest of the league the comedy it truly deserves. After trading away Dhop for Zeke, it looks like things didn't get much better - as expected. Sure Dhop didnt't show up, but that's an anomaly. Zeke putting together subpar performances has been the trend. And just like Zeke, you've been trending down for five game straight. Just make sure you got your money ready for all those bets you made while in despair. You're now in last place AND last in points.
Lobos, congratulations on pulling yourself out of the trenches. You finally got that Brees monkey off your back and don't have to worry about starting the wrong QB. Everyone showed up to play and this was an easy win on Sunday. Now I'm not trying to jinx you, but TE might start to be your new nemesis in the start em/sit em mental anguish that you go through on Sundays. For now, enjoy the win now that you've transferred the status of last point to Reesie.
A Team Has No Name 100.35 vs It's Gonna Ertz 130.00
Jesus, it looks like Reesie had a trojan horse wrapped up in that trade. In some cosmic way, he transferred his inability to get a win/points to you. At some point on Sunday, I'm sure you wondered if Dhop was hurt but it just wasn't the case. Dhop came to your own city and didn't deliver. To add insult to injury, Justin Jackson left the game on the first drive and he got hurt not even touching the ball. So sad in a week where you traded away Zeke. I hope you had fun sitting at the cool table with your playoff contention friends because they might leave you alone come Week 13.
Trav, congrats on staying alive this week when it felt like the league was conspiring against you with that ridiculous trade. With your back against the wall, you started the only players you could and got blessed with a victory. Its amazing how much your dynamic duo props up your team. If you asked me a year ago if a team could win a game starting Randall Cobb, Wayne Gallman, and Nyheim Hines, I would've thought you never played fantasy football to ask such a silly question. In 2020 anything's possible. Good win.
Easy Drake Oven 114.25 vs Green Eggs and SAM 148.10
Josh Allen single-handedly accounted for almost half of your points Shorty. I'm sure you're panicked now that Theilen is an afterthought in the Cook led Vikings. Your love of former Steelers also accounted for less than 10 points combined. Even with Kenyan Drake coming back, it's looking really doubtful that you'll be scoring over 120 points in a game for the rest of the season. In the meantime, you might want to take a page out the DA Good Book and start John Brown to matchup with your stud QB, otherwise you could be in danger of taking that second loser tax spot. You've been warned.
Eddie, I have to commend you for keeping this hodge-podge roster together after losing Dak and Sanders. For several weeks, you've been riding the highs and lows of your team and still managing to stay playoff relevant. Maybe that split from Hector worked out for the better. He might have siphoned off your energy like a parasitic twin, but you've still got enough left in the tank to keep fighting. Congrats on the win.
falseProfits 121.35 vs Philp on my Chubb 123.75
Tough way to lose Adam. After finally getting Michael Thomas back in the lineup, it still wasn't enough to compensate for Gage not delivering in the Calvin Ridley absence. Just take solace in the idea that you'll eventually place with a lineup of healthy players. The squad has real potential, but its just not delivering when it matters most. Don't beat yourself up about the idea that you could've won if you started Josh Kelley, somehow Quis would've used a trophy power to steal this victory.
Quis, you've been dodging bullet at after bullet all season. Your Rb's go down and you have another ready to go. Your QB puts up a dud and you have just enough to squeak out a 2 point win. Maybe you're destined to seal a playoff berth, but winning another chip is a stretch. Keep enjoying these wins while you can. I see you're saving that extra budget for the playoff push player that will undoubtedly be on the waivers. Between you and me, I hope you get him and puts up a dud as soon as you have to start em.
This Team Iz America 140.40 vs KamaraPandemic 157.35
Don't beat yourself up about this one Gordon. This was David vs Goliath and no one expected you to be within reach of this game. Had you started McKissic, you would have triumphed by less than a point and sent Juan spiraling to the point of sacrificing his dog to secure the trophy. Now I know TE is a scarce position, but I'm scratching my head at the decision to start Trey Burton. The Colts use 40 TE's any given week and choosing Trey had to be desperation or panic. Dust yourself off and try again for next week when you try to get out of the loser tax bracket.
Juan, yet again, that santeria blessing is still in effect. Do you even worry anymore about your start em sit em in this league on Sunday? Do you even research the countless blogs and research that analysts put together? Or do you simply close your eyes, and move your finger around your phone and go make breakfast? I'm getting tired of seeing players on your roster that would otherwise be garbage come through with double digit points every week. Have mercy on our souls when you get bit by the Gerald curse in the semi's.
ShutTheBucUP 178.85 vs DA GAWD 116.70
Another week, another highest point total led by none other than Dalvin Cook. I bet you're really feeling yourself this season. In a week where Da GAWD needed Aaron Rodgers to ball out, he plays against him. For weeks, the Patriots have been complete trash and you manage to start the ONE guy that can manage to do damage. This is a new low for DA GAWD when he's getting trounced by the likes of you Hector. At some point, this crazy train is going to come to a stop, but until then, keep going. I guess you eventually have to win in this league, otherwise, why would you come back each year and donate. Good win.
This week didn't really change the standings too much so Da GAWD ain't really sweating. Three more weeks and three more wins puts Da GAWD in the playoffs. Maybe DJ Moore starts a late season run while Derrick Henry gets poppin at the same time. All I'll need is one solid TE and the rest could be history.
#Amen
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