Live From The Villa (Week 10)

 

This week, Yahoo decided to call our matchups "Rivalry Week". I wouldn't call it rivalry week, but it was certainly an important week. With only a few games left, there's an intense battle for the last 3 playoff spots amongst 6 teams. Every win and loss matters going forward. Every point matters going forward. Let's see how much closer or further away everyone got to their dreams of battling for championship glory. 

Kamaravirus 93.30 vs Pfizer 133.70

Juan, all season you've been getting production from waiver wire warriors but the luck ran out this week. Now its back to reality, oh, there goes Ka'imi, Baltimore D choked and getting 100 points wasn't easy. Going from Kelce to 0 points at TE hopefully put some empathy in your heart for the rest of us. Curtis Samuel being who we thought he is and AJ Brown dropping that TD had to sting. This week, your team reminded me of Shorty's LightsKamaraAction where he ONLY had Kamara. Lucky for you, you still have 8 wins, but that playoff bye week might be in danger without some quality players. Don't lose yourself in this quest for the chip. 

Looks like we found the vaccine we've been waiting for all season. Despite Brees leaving the game with a deflated lung, Josh Jacobs and MVS breathed new life into Lobos. You were in must win territory and you succeeded. At one point, I really questioned starting Gronk over Mark Andrews, but it worked out anyway. All of this success without Tyreek Hill to lead the way. Bravo. With only 3 games left, you still have a shot, but you'll be cycling through the waivers looking for a halfway decent QB - the bane of your existence all season. Good luck. 

Samuel Lamara Jackson 103.25 vs A Team Has No Zeke 112.15

One week removed from one of the dumbest trades in league history and it immediately came back to bite you Gerald. Had Jesus been stuck with bye week Zeke, he would've had to start Justin Jefferson for 22 points while you would've had Dhop at 28 points. You would've started Dhop over Fitz and gotten a win to save you from last place. But alas, here we are. I hope you take a long, somber, disappointing look in the mirror and realize you lost after showing up to the draft without 2 buttons. Next draft, you're relegated to polos. Matter of fact, just throw out all of your buttoned shirts because you literally have as many wins as you had buttons undone. SMH

Jesus, while you got this win, your team SEVERELY underperformed. I think we both know you weren't too happy by 4 pm and just ignored the games. I bet you had dreams of grandeur and playoff hopes after seeing the donut from Jimmy Graham on Monday night. But DA GAWD thinks your playoff hopes playout like a romcom where the guy lies about being rich and the girl finds out and she leaves him. That's week 13. Until then, keep hope alive and thank the Amboy education system that you managed to get DHop at just the right time in the season. 

It's Gonna Ertz 103.20 vs ShuTheBUCup 124.75

I'm sure this is not how you intended this matchup to go Trav. But honestly, you had to know things aren't good for your team when both your starter and handcuff are on the bench. Starting Wayne Gallman and AP at RB1 and RB2 has got to be sickening. The dynamic duo let you down once again with Metcalf and Mr. Wilson getting shut down by Sir Sassy himself Jalen Ramsey. . You're currently within spitting distance of the playoffs but I think this is as close as it gets until Chris Carson comes back. It might be time to get on the good foot and just focus on that rehab; it'll be a better comeback story than your team making the playoffs. 

Well look who's managed to achieve first place after years of mediocrity. You had yourself an easy outing against Trav while you're players just clocked in for another ho-hum win. I'm sure you looking at the chat on the regular now, waiting for an opportunity to assert your dominance. But at the same time, I bet there's still doubt in your mind so you hold everything back for that day you're in the chip. For your sake, I really hope you get that 1st round bye. On draft day, you looked worried, but maybe that's just your concentration face when making good decisions. Congrats on securing another win, I have nothing left to say until you lose. 

This Team Iz America 115.00 vs Philip on my Chubb 133.25

Ouch. Between you and Shorty, I don't know who has worse luck. After having a moment in the sun with CMC, you're right back to where you were for weeks. To top it off, the rest of your team came to play and could've beaten a few other teams this week. You even had JD McKissic perform like WR in the RB slot. It just wasn't enough. With 3 games left, you're only goal now is to avoid the loser tax. It will be a battle of bad luck will's between you and Shorty. Better hope Mahomes can change things around for you next week because you're just not doing enough when you start Trey Burton. 

After trolling Gordon all week that CMC wouldn't play, you got an easy win lead by last week's stinker Tom Brady. A broken clock is right twice a day right? I'm starting to notice the trend where you seem to win when you literally have no other options. With palyers either hurt or on bye, you only start healthy players. Not only do they play, but they end up putting together enough points for the win. Go figure. While you're solidly in the playoffs right now, anything can happen in the next 3 weeks. Maybe all your players are healthy and you have some that ball on the bench. Maybe other teams start going on a scoring streak. Either way congrats on the win. 

Easy Drake Oven 129.60 vs falseProfits 145.45

You are officially bad luck incarnate. All season you've played highest point totals of the week, but this one hurts in hilarious fashion. First, I wonder what ladder you walked under while starting Philip Lindsay. You do know he's been losing touches each week right? You had a VERY viable Kenyan Drake on your bench. THEN I see you hulk smashed 7 mirrors before starting Robby Anderson against a good TB defense instead of newly acquired target hog Antonio Brown. And to top it all off, the bad luck of all bad lucks, Nick Chubb runs all the way to the end-zone and decides not to score. YIKES. I want to be the first to say sorry that we didn't reach out to ensure you weren't about to jump off a cliff. At least there's 3 games left. 

Adam, I gotta say I'm getting pretty nervous with your team peaking at just the right time. Kyler Murray is firing on all cylinders and you're just waiting to get MT going. On top of that, Ekeler can come back at any moment to save you from starting Bernard. Between you and me, I want you to make the playoffs. But Week 11 just ain't where I want you start getting more wins. I'd rather see you in Week 15 when my team can be fully operational. Until then, great work getting the highest point total of the week, and dropping Shorty down a notch.

Green eggs and SAM 98.25 vs DA GAWD 126.35

Well Eddie, you've been up and down all season. Its not like you made any bad decisions. Who would've thought Boston Scott vultured touches and yards away from Miles Sanders? Evan Engram came up short and Jerrick McKinnon simply hasn't ever been the answer since being AP's backup in Minnesota. Sure, CEH was on bye, but this roster outside of J-Herbo just doesn't have the firepower to keep you afloat. I honestly feel bad your season has come to this after losing Dak. For all I know, those 3 yards you lost by last year might be the closest you'll ever get to touching the chip in this league. Maybe next year buddy, but thanks for giving me the glimmer of hope of making the playoffs.

Never throwin' in the towel, I just used it to wipe the sweat off. I'm back in the ring to knock ya heads off. Getting this win without Julio and Matt Ryan was the first step. Next week Diggs is out, but DA GAWD still gotta push through for that opportunity at a playoff berth. I see a lot of sceptics and doubters but DA GAWD is smart, he knows that ya'll just a bunch of dreamers with broken hearts. Time to dig deep and finish this season strong. 

#Amen 

Mathematics (Week 9)

 

One more week down and two teams are stuck with two wins. Some teams are three wins away from a playoff berth with only three weeks left in the regular season. In reality, its only a battle for those last four playoffs spots since last place is nursing a five game losing streak while first place is on a six game win streak. Some teams waited seven weeks to have their studs play and first place already has eight wins on the season. Let's recap week nine to figure out the math of winner and losers.

Samuel L-5 Jackson 99.50 vs Los Lobos 142.90

Reesie, there's not much to recap other than the inevitable loss we all saw coming. Last place is starting to look good on you, only if it offers the rest of the league the comedy it truly deserves. After trading away Dhop for Zeke, it looks like things didn't get much better - as expected. Sure Dhop didnt't show up, but that's an anomaly. Zeke putting together subpar performances has been the trend. And just like Zeke, you've been trending down for five game straight. Just make sure you got your money ready for all those bets you made while in despair. You're now in last place AND last in points. 

Lobos, congratulations on pulling yourself out of the trenches. You finally got that Brees monkey off your back and don't have to worry about starting the wrong QB. Everyone showed up to play and this was an easy win on Sunday. Now I'm not trying to jinx you, but TE might start to be your new nemesis in the start em/sit em mental anguish that you go through on Sundays. For now, enjoy the win now that you've transferred the status of last point to Reesie. 

A Team Has No Name 100.35 vs It's Gonna Ertz 130.00

Jesus, it looks like Reesie had a trojan horse wrapped up in that trade. In some cosmic way, he transferred his inability to get a win/points to you. At some point on Sunday, I'm sure you wondered if Dhop was hurt but it just wasn't the case. Dhop came to your own city and didn't deliver. To add insult to injury, Justin Jackson left the game on the first drive and he got hurt not even touching the ball. So sad in a week where you traded away Zeke. I hope you had fun sitting at the cool table with your playoff contention friends because they might leave you alone come Week 13. 

Trav, congrats on staying alive this week when it felt like the league was conspiring against you with that ridiculous trade. With your back against the wall, you started the only players you could and got blessed with a victory. Its amazing how much your dynamic duo props up your team. If you asked me a year ago if a team could win a game starting Randall Cobb, Wayne Gallman, and Nyheim Hines, I would've thought you never played fantasy football to ask such a silly question. In 2020 anything's possible. Good win. 

Easy Drake Oven 114.25 vs Green Eggs and SAM 148.10

Josh Allen single-handedly accounted for almost half of your points Shorty. I'm sure you're panicked now that Theilen is an afterthought in the Cook led Vikings. Your love of former Steelers also accounted for less than 10 points combined. Even with Kenyan Drake coming back, it's looking really doubtful that you'll be scoring over 120 points in a game for the rest of the season. In the meantime, you might want to take a page out the DA Good Book and start John Brown to matchup with your stud QB, otherwise you could be in danger of taking that second loser tax spot. You've been warned. 

Eddie, I have to commend you for keeping this hodge-podge roster together after losing Dak and Sanders. For several weeks, you've been riding the highs and lows of your team and still managing to stay playoff relevant. Maybe that split from Hector worked out for the better. He might have siphoned off your energy like a parasitic twin, but you've still got enough left in the tank to keep fighting. Congrats on the win. 

falseProfits 121.35 vs Philp on my Chubb 123.75

Tough way to lose Adam. After finally getting Michael Thomas back in the lineup, it still wasn't enough to compensate for Gage not delivering in the Calvin Ridley absence. Just take solace in the idea that you'll eventually place with a lineup of healthy players. The squad has real potential, but its just not delivering when it matters most. Don't beat yourself up about the idea that you could've won if you started Josh Kelley, somehow Quis would've used a trophy power to steal this victory. 

Quis, you've been dodging bullet at after bullet all season. Your Rb's go down and you have another ready to go. Your QB puts up a dud and you have just enough to squeak out a 2 point win. Maybe you're destined to seal a playoff berth, but winning another chip is a stretch. Keep enjoying these wins while you can. I see you're saving that extra budget for the playoff push player that will undoubtedly be on the waivers. Between you and me, I hope you get him and puts up a dud as soon as you have to start em. 

This Team Iz America 140.40 vs KamaraPandemic 157.35

Don't beat yourself up about this one Gordon. This was David vs Goliath and no one expected you to be within reach of this game. Had you started McKissic, you would have triumphed by less than a point and sent Juan spiraling to the point of sacrificing his dog to secure the trophy. Now I know TE is a scarce position, but I'm scratching my head at the decision to start Trey Burton. The Colts use 40 TE's any given week and choosing Trey had to be desperation or panic. Dust yourself off and try again for next week when you try to get out of the loser tax bracket. 

Juan, yet again, that santeria blessing is still in effect. Do you even worry anymore about your start em sit em in this league on Sunday? Do you even research the countless blogs and research that analysts put together? Or do you simply close your eyes, and move your finger around your phone and go make breakfast? I'm getting tired of seeing players on your roster that would otherwise be garbage come through with double digit points every week. Have mercy on our souls when you get bit by the Gerald curse in the semi's. 

ShutTheBucUP 178.85 vs DA GAWD 116.70

Another week, another highest point total led by none other than Dalvin Cook. I bet you're really feeling yourself this season. In a week where Da GAWD needed Aaron Rodgers to ball out, he plays against him. For weeks, the Patriots have been complete trash and you manage to start the ONE guy that can manage to do damage. This is a new low for DA GAWD when he's getting trounced by the likes of you Hector. At some point, this crazy train is going to come to a stop, but until then, keep going. I guess you eventually have to win in this league, otherwise, why would you come back each year and donate. Good win. 

This week didn't really change the standings too much so Da GAWD ain't really sweating. Three more weeks and three more wins puts Da GAWD in the playoffs. Maybe DJ Moore starts a late season run while Derrick Henry gets poppin at the same time. All I'll need is one solid TE and the rest could be history.

#Amen

350 (Week 8)

 

Week 8 has shown me the disparity that exists in the league. Its rare that we're having games decided by 10 points or less. Games pretty much blowouts. The result is that you either didn't start the right practice squad player or your players that are studs don't get focused on so much that they simply can't shine like they should - unless they're on Juan or Hector's squad. Let's review where we stand as the league's separation became greater. 

'I Am Sam' 67.50 vs This Team Iz America 155.00

What a pitiful performance during the Gerald Bowl. After talking shit for weeks like you were above him, he came through and knocked you out Tank Davis style. Better yet, you're like the dude that was in the stands that pointed and laughed at Ron Artest until he jumped in the stands. Going into this game, I really wasn't sure what would happen. But when your defense gave Gordon points, it was a wrap. When you picked up TY Hilton this week and started him over Mecole Hardman, you were in desperation mode - while you only had 1 player on a bye. I know you're trying to make your team better, but its like you're too slow to realize what better means. You're losing focus and can't tell when to just take the loss and live to fight another day. But as you implied while defending yourself yesterday, maybe we just don't know what we're talking about. Be careful in last place, it'll mess with your head.  

The Clip for Reference (https://youtu.be/lRlgx_GFwyI?t=28)

Look at this. Putting together a 2 game win streak while stepping on Gerald's dead corpse to climb out the grave of last place. Mahomes alone accounted for 2/3 of Gerald's points, so I'm sure you were able to kick your feet up at 4pm and tend to other things. There's still a lot of work to be done, but it looks like you're catching the wind at the right time with CMC's return around the corner. Who's laughing at Corey Davis now right? Keep up this level of effort and your days in last place will be a distant memory. Great win and establishing who the real Gerald is. 

falseProfits 100.10 vs Kamaravirus 149.40

I think we both know that you were destined to lose going into this week. That cuban blessing Juan put on his lineup had you feeling beat the second that Curtis Samuel scored his first TD on Thursday night. But you prepared for this. You squirreled away some early wins without Ekeler and MT so that you could absorb such a loss. That's what the true GM's do. With many other options on a bye, this is as good as you could've expected. But from here on out, you're gonna have to get crafty, because you'll have some viable options and start em/sit em decisions are going to make or break your team. Be prepared. 

I'll be the first to say that we can upgrade your name to KamaraPandemic. It's been so long since you've lost that I forgot who you even lost to. At this point, I'm starting to just take notes of who's in your lineup for DFS and just throw em in there. Curtis Samuel getting two fucking TD's while I have DJ Moore and Robby Anderson in several leagues getting no love. Hunter Renfrow catching dumb TDs. Your lineup makes ZERO sense and it manages to have a weekly floor of 150 pts. I just want to be within earshot if you get knocked out the playoffs. I want to see the look on your dog's face as he watches a single tear fall down your cheek. Until then, keep handling your light work. 

Green eggs and SAM 104.60 vs Philip on my Chubb 136.45

The bad luck bug is really starting to attach itself to you Eddie and I can see why Hector asked for that separation. A lot of your players have been affected by others on their own team. No Dak means poor Ceedee Lamb production and the addition of Bell is cutting into CEH work. I was also gonna make fun of the Agholor start but looking at the game log, it did make sense. I mean, why wouldn't he continue on that upward trend? What really hurts is Mike Williams being on the bench with a solid 21 and Engram with a solid 12 that would've won you the matchup no matter what Quis did. Its like as soon as you start these guys, they fail. Guess these are the breaks. Let's see if you can claw and crawl your way to the playoffs. 

On the flip side of the poor unfortunate souls, Quis is getting lucky each week with solid production from players while waiting on others to get healthy. Davante Adams scoring on 3 of his 7 catches seems Fuller-esque and his RBs are still chuggin along with double digit outings. Idk how long either of your old QBs hold up, but for now, you're poised for a strong playoff berth. I want to say I can't wait til CMC comes back, but you've got enough Rbs in the stable to shuffle around. Good win.

Easy Drake Burnt in the Oven 101.50 vs ShuTheBUCup 180.35

This game was over by Dalvin Cook's 3rd TD. You had to have lost hope for any of your players to potentially give you that many competing points. After making your trade, it just didn't matter how much better your team could potentially be. This was a sad loss, but I'm damn sure happy about it because we're still tied for wins. Maybe Thielen decides to go off next week while the Vikings give Cook a rest or maybe Robby Anderson gets back to his former glory. Until then, its time to stop yawning and start going after those wins. 

You trying to prove a point out here Hector? With another highest point total of the week, it looks like we must've pissed you off with all these seasons of losses in the playoffs. Despite lacking production from your TE, you've been putting together monster games from players like Tyler Boyd and resurrected Keenan Allen. You used to have flames next to your team name for no reason but now its finally fitting. With a newly added Lockette while dumping off the crowded WR core in the Bucs, it looks like you're making the chess move necessary for a name on the chip. Let's see if you can pull it off. 

Los Lobos 107.10 vs A Team Has No Name 117.85

Reduced to starting Baker Mayfield huh? I get it. These losses and that point total has you feeling like your dick got kicked inside yourself and you don't trust yourself to start Drew Brees right? You start em, he duds. You sit em, he makes you look silly. To add insult to injury, you pick up Zach Moss this week only to bench him with 20 points. And taking the gamble of starting two TE's instead of a RB in the flex? Yikes. Those two start, and you win the matchup and climb out of last in points. Now I know you have a long history of not knowing when to start Drew Brees, but at some point, you're gonna have to trust yourself and use the force. You're acting like the front office of the Chargers in 06 and you'll wish you chose Brees and a chip. Fix the decision process or you'll miss your chance at a playoff berth. 

When are Golladay and Godwin gonna deliver in the same week right? At least you got a win this week despite having true studs. Now that I look deeper in this matchup, it looks like you and Ian made a bet to figure out who would win while starting two TE's over having a RB in the flex. Looks like you came out on top since Jared Cook delivered. Too many Cooks went off this week and you benefited. Now personally, I'd like to root for you, but I'm sure you gotta fall in order for DA GAWD to get into the playoffs. So until, keep enjoying these spike weeks. Who knows, maybe you'll be gifted with some unforeseen blessing of a fantasy rookie asking to take away the pain of Zeke. Only time will tell. 

It's Gonna Ertz 142.85 vs DA GAWD 96.95

Looks like that trifecta came back with a vengeance after Metcalf was overlooked the week before. Wilson and Metcalf alone accounted for almost 80% of Da GAWD's points and I knew it was coming. From the moment DJ Moore was overlooked regularly on Thursday Night's game, it was a wrap. This was just the type of win you needed after sliding for a few weeks. Maybe a Carson comeback and Claypool back on the right track can give you just enough to beat your opponent next week. I guess I should say good win....

And there you have it. DA GAWD came up well short of a win this week. Its not even like there were a lot of players on a bye. This was just some underperformers underperforming when I needed them the most. Harrison Bryant was a stretch when Jared Cook was still sitting out there but the positive of JK Dobbins getting that work sets up for a good comeback week. I think I've come to realize I like when they count me out....makes it that much sweeter when I start countin' up. 

#Amen