Shit….Ever since I got first place, I ain’t been inspired to
write these recaps like I used to. When you the boss without a loss, somebody
steady gunnin for you. Having the expectations of success nad pure perfection is tough hold on the shoulders of Atlas. Gawds got feelins too. But I think I just got full off
success. Soon as Da
GAWD left the country, Bruce Almighty showed up and ass-monkeys
started getting wins. Without further ado, lets reflect how we got here when I
left the comfy steps of Olympus.
Here Lies Juan Camacho Hernandez IV 84.45 vs J&D’s Incest Baby 145.55
What more can Da Gawd say that hasn’t been said already? The
Giants ain’t got wins. Juan ain’t got wins. Grass is green and the sky is blue.
What I can’t understand is him doubling down on Giants players. Brandon
Marshall already had 1 foot out the door of the NFL and his ankle just dropped
the other shoe - besides too many passes. The only reason I can’t be more disappointed is that this level of effort was expected. You're a two time dad with no time for this league. You and Wendy's ain't never gonna be win together.
Graveyard 103.80 vs My RBs SUCK 135.60
Remember two weeks ago when Da Gawd said we’d knock you back to
Earth after that shit talking from the clouds? The result was a KICKER giving
you 0 points. Worst of all, you lost your #1 WR to an ankle injury that
probably wouldn’t have happened if the Giants let him rest a week longer after
the preseason injury. With no viable, legit, #1 options on your team besides
QB, you’re season’s done. Maybe you should have a few Giants players as
your pallbearers so they can let you down one last time.
Shorty, you also have a bad team name, but at least you’re
not Owen Forever anymore. Congrats on your first win. You used DA GAWD’S TEAMS
QB TO MAGNIFICENT LEVELS. For that you were blessed with Da Win. I mean you ain’t
gonna make the playoffs or nothin, but you got the win. Da Gawd is just happy he doesn't have to keep tellin you that you don't care about your team. For the rest of the
season, just play spoiler when people need it the most.
ANOTHA LOSS 120.70 vs ShuTheBucUp 127.55
My first disciple got Buc’d up. However, it wasn’t because
his team overall sucked, he just ran into a bad bye week and Devante Parker’s
ankle gave out. It was a valiant effort but the loss still sticks. On the
bright side, it probably gets better for the upcoming week. No more no less.
Stay blessed. No matter what happens next week, Da Gawd will keep you in the
circle.
Buc, congratulations on achieving 2nd place. You
took this sneaky opportunity to see the GAWD missing and get a win when you
needed it most. I hope you’re still kicking yourself since you traded away Doug
Martin though. Don’t think those Aaron Rodgers late game heroics are gonna keep
you in the upper echelon of this league. This area is reserved for the holiest
and most well deserved. You’re just a demi-gawd right now. Be humble, because Da Gawd won't let this shit talk go by. You're a fake #1.
Beard In The Fourth 120.70 vs Jonathan’s Team 148.35
Somehow, Beard and Gerald managed to get the exact same
score while playing two separate people and both of them loss. Kinda made me
wish they played each other so I could see the first tie ever in my Fantasy Football
years. Anyway, this was kinda flukey. Beard had some solid studs turn into duds
so don’t think this is the norm. Keep ya head up playa. You’ll bounce back. Until then, may the 4th place be with you.
On the flip side of flukey, Jonathan’s team had Torrey Smith
catch flames to go along with ADRIEL JEREMIAH MUTHAFUCKIN GREEN going full
retard. Congrats on your second win. At first I hated your team name, but
sometimes, plain pizza is better than some dumbass pineapple w/anchovies shit
like Incest Baby’s Rich’s team. Now how’s about you trade me Kamara so
you can continue this winning streak?
The Little Eddie that Couldn't 126.65 vs No One 136.20
Damn Eddie. I thought you coulda had this one, but as you
can see from Jesus callin on the GAWD’s blessings, you just couldn’t do enough.
A Jimmy Graham here or a Cam Newton there would’ve secured a victory for your
lowly team. I know you were lookin' forward to a recap last week after your win,
but I ain’t got it. Either way, there’s still some bright spots on your
horizon. With Lobos dead and the Lord of L's formerly known as Juan not getting any better, you can’t go lower than 10th
anymore. You’re at your season’s floor.
Jesus stayin’ blessed. Who needs to worry about having the
Week 5 #1 QB on the bench or a TE putting up zero numbers. You’ve got DA GAWD
on your side to pull through a victory. Real talk, your squad is putting up
great numbers this season and you might see me in the finals. Sometimes
weathering the storms means coming out clean……or just fallin on your face. Keep
staying in the playoffs.
GAWD (too low to count) vs Aaron, Nor Nelson, Nor A
MUTHAFUCKIN PACKER On My Team But I Use This Dumbass Name 130.10
“Aaron out my Nelson (sixth place, 3-2, 580.05 points)
pushes GAWD (4-1, 585.80 points) closer to the dustbin of history and out of
the league's top spot after trashing them 130.10 to 81.50” – Yahoo
That’s as good of a recap you gonna get on this one Quis.
You were lined up in Da Gawd’s sites for demolition but instead you were saved by
the everlasting grace of the supreme being. While enjoying the sites and sounds the rest of Da
Gawd’s universe has to offer, the focus was lost. The hunger was gone. Since I doubt I'll see you in the playoff race, let this win comfort you during the cold month of December.
When you sittin at the top and you think you
seen it all….caught up wit yo dreams wit nobody else to call. Cause Da Gawd know he gon’ be straight….had to cut a couple players….had to
learn from da mistakes – THAT’S THE PRICE OF BEIN’ GREAT! They hate you when
you winnin’ but they love it when you break……this the price of being great.
Be on the lookout of renewed fury as this is the last
vacation for the year from Da Gawd. You’ve been warned.
-Amen
