Peekaboo (Week 12)

It's sad to see how Week 12 ended. Zombies rose from the shadows as a surprise and ended the playoff hopes for several teams. I know there were dreams of "I just gotta win out and I got shot". Instead, now it's race to not be in the bottom two and there's two weeks left. What a turn of events. Let's get into each game and see how it all went down. 

Machine Gun Santa 133.35 vs This Team Iz Kang 140.05

I don't know where to begin. Sometimes, when people's hopes and dreams get dashed they have a full psychotic episode. Some shave their head like Britney Spears. Some start having an identity crisis. In this case, we saw someone sadly dancing in Santa pants/shorts suit for the world to see. Maybe this break came from the combination of losing a spot for the playoffs and losing to Gordon in the same weekend. I hope you get the help you need. 

Way to play playoff spoiler Gordon. Your victory created a great moment for the fantasy chat to witness. It's crazy to think what your team could've been. Now you're out here winning games with Jonny Smith outscoring Travis Kelce. Crazy times. Now your only goal is to not be in the bottom two. That's the new "playoff race" with your bottom dwelling brethren. 

I Like to Marv it Marv it 84.55 vs The Syndicate 129.95

The stack this season just wasn't hitting like you expected this year. You gotta remember that it's super rare for a rookie WR to go nuts. Josh Jacobs stole all the juice from Christian Watson and Brian Robinson got knocked out of the game when you needed him most. At least the power washing got done. Maybe you had time to take Christmas light inventory. Just try not to be at the bottom again this year. Remember - you're not the Jets. 

Like clockwork, a back against the wall performance to stay playoff relevant. I wonder if you had a pickleball tournament at 12:45 and made the snap decision to start Noah Gray AND (let me look up the name because I had no clue who he was) Devaughn Vele. It paid off well. Even though Jesus did himself no favors, these are the type of moves you'll need to keep making for the rest of the season. 

Get off my Dak 106.40 vs Saved by the Dell 151.55

Another one bites the dust. All year you were hampered with injuries and subpar performances from your top 6 pics. This year just wasn't in the cards to make the playoffs. You should be safe from the bottom two but who knows. I do want to take this time for inviting me to your other league though. If it wasn't for watching you take Saquon in that one, I wouldn't have had the Gawdsight to take him over Bijan Robinson. Your services are appreciated. 

Guess you can still make an impact even when things don't matter for you. While we probably won't hear from you until the chip, it's nice to see you still put the effort in to get your lineup right. It's gotta be frustrating though to wait twelve weeks for DJ Moore to have at least 25 points. If only some trades early on were accepted. Keep playing zombie for the rest of the bottom. You got something to fight for. 

Django Achaned 108.80 vs Team DQ 143.65

This was an interesting strategic punt. With most of your heavy hitters on bye, I saw you didn't start a kicker at 1pm. The hope was that your team might do enough and then you'd take a kicker late. But I'm pretty sure you lost as soon as Daniels threw the 80 yd bomb at 4 pm. I can't imagine the sting of watching your fantasy team lose while watching Cutlets get fried in the Meadowlands. I saw a funny reel that said you could take a nap, read a book, or even count seats at the Giants games this year rather than watch the actual game. I hope you did one of those. 

After having a rough start, it looks like you're heating up at just the right time. I gotta admit that I'm kind of waiting for the Zay Flowers decision to haunt you in the playoffs. Til then, stay silent til Week 15. 

Looking at the man in Jahmyr 140.05 vs Wilson! 144.35

This was game of the week here. Going into Monday night, thing we're close and they stayed close to the final minutes. Unfortunately, you were just a little too short to get the win. The interesting thing is that if you started Mahomes (who everyone thought was bad for you to trade) you would've won the game. So far, you still have the bye. You're just gonna have to win out to keep it. 

It's great to see you staying playoff relevant. Even though you lost Dobbins on the night, you still got the victory. Even better that Chubb is starting to heat up at a time like this. Lucky for you, the rest of the regular season is just about playoff seeding since there's quite a few teams with 4 wins at Week 12. You and the Steelers are truly looking like spirit brothers. 

Your Chubby White Nabers 123.05 vs Da GAWD Al Gaib 196.75

It's a shame your record is what it is and that you would've beat a few teams this week. Unfortunately you're still fighting to stay away from the bottom two spots. I kinda get why you started Devito though. With nothing to lose, why not take the off chance that he surprises the Bucs. I know I took a parlay with the Giants winning. Stay focused on 10th place for the next few weeks. 

Another week, another dominating performance. What else is there to say. Saquon been popping out all season like peekaboo. Even better to see him do it for Da GAWD. Would all this have felt better being undefeated? Of course. But Da GAWD can take solace in doing better than my previous 10-4 record the last time I fire and brimstones the league. 

#Amen