Week 5 brought the fireworks out to start October huh? Multiple teams hit some impressive heights in points scored and provided some much needed rejuvenation to your squads. Its especially impressive when you think of the bye weeks adding extra complication to teams decimated by injuries. Its almost like all the players that were garbage the last 4 weeks just showed up out of no where. Let's recap on how this week turned out.
Get off My Dak 110.40 vs I like to Marv it Marv it 166.95
You know times are rough when you gotta start both Deebo and Jennings. They didn't even combine to 10 points. Even though none of your players were on a bye, those injuries might as put them on hiatus. Guess it was easier to just enjoy those mai thai's next to a big screen on your birthday. Takes the sting out of this loss just a bit. I don't think this was the birthday present you were looking for, but maybe Kupp comes back when its time for you to face Da GAWD next week.
This was one of your best performances this season Jesus. Things were already looking up on Thursday when Darnell shot for the Moon and was your highest scorer. You followed that up with Higgins and Kyler going nuts. You might be shaking off some of that chip hangover at this point. If it weren't for the fact that those Jets keep letting you down, you might be able to let loose and enjoy this season a bit more.
The Syndicate 123.00 vs Team DQ 153.00
This was a tough loss. Watching Tank Bigsby go nuts on your bench in this matchup had to leave you sick. No amount of smacking a pickle ball can take away that pain. Until Waddle gets a competent QB and two of your players come back from IR, you're going to have to continue to get creative with your starts. There's not a lot of bench spots in this league and holding that type of dead-weight could mean life or playoff death. We'll see what moves you make for Week 6.
In a week that had almost every defense score 10 points or more, its surprising you won while the Baltimore defense put up 1 point. Either way, its impressive you've landed on the right side of .500 despite the way this season started for you. Bijan might not be showing that talent that made you take him in the first round, but the rest of your squad showed up in a big way. I've already wrote too much for someone that hasn't looked at these recaps.
Machine Gun Kelce 124.85 vs Django Achaned 185.10
Damn. You go from facing DA GAWD last week to running into the team that put up the most points of the SEASON. I get it though. Damn near everyone was on bye for your team and Singletary was out. Even worse, Singletary's backup looked decent while the Giants went on to win. None of it mattered though because there wasn't a chance in hell you were gonna win against that many points. At least you had time to wash ALL the clothes. I'm talking linens, curtains, and blankets. You must've even had time to swap summer for winter clothes. You'll bounce back next week though with most of your players back. Just have my money.
Good Lordy. Most points of the season so far and you could've had even more if you started Sermon over Wicks. All that contract stress you had to deal with paid off this week though. That Burrow/Chase stack went for 91 points alone. Even Kyle Pitts got into double digits. If you're lucky, Achane going down might make it easier to start Bucky Irving next week. Like I told you early in these recaps, just have your mind set on facing Da GAWD in the chip. Its gonna be one to remember.
Wilson! 133.65 vs Your Chubby White Nabers 143.75
Ouch. No Taylor, no Mixon, and Dobbins on a bye. Had you sent a prayer up to Da GAWD Al Gaib, you might've had a fighting chance. I know its even more painful that players like Wilson go off in a week that you didn't really need them to and the fringe players you count on put up duds. The only thing going for you is that you already had 3 wins going into this game, so you could afford to lose at least this week. If you find yourself in a bind though, you know who to call.
Finally right?? With your back against the wall with absolutely NO ONE to start and Nabers out, you managed to get your first win. I envision that you looked like Vince McMahon as Kraft caught the long TD, then Pierce caught the long TD, and THEN Slayton balled out. Despite Allen, Lamb and Kyren putting together pedestrian games, you gotta hand it to your replacements. It may not get better, but bask in the win. You earned it.
Saved By The Dell 138.65 vs Looking at the man in Jahmyr 182.60
This is really troubling to see Eddie. You're now 0-5. Even the Jaguars managed to get a win this week. How long are you going to hold on to Hockenson while you wait for your first win? The Aaron Jones train has finally crashed (as expected) and Roshon Johnson won't keep getting those garbage time TDs. Your team is in serious trouble. Once you get to 7 losses, just call it a wrap. If you set aside 1 dollar a week from now til next draft day, you can help support starving drafters like you next year. It might be a better investment than searching the waives with your FAAB money.
Now this deserves a slow clap. From laughing stock to one of the highest point totals scored this season. First Drake London went off then Lamar got some extra time to get busy. The biggest shocker is having the balls to lock in on Whittington (who wasn't even on DA GAWD's radar) instead of Lockette facing the Giants. If you were an NFL player, you'd be tested for PEDs by now because this type of performance needs to be investigated when compared to your previous seasons. Either way, great win. You'll be a fun fresh face in the playoffs.
This Team Iz NOT THE KWISATZ HADERACH 119.70 VS Da Gawd AL GAIB 132.25
While Da GAWD was enjoying his time away, you thought you could play GAWD huh? Kwisatz huh? Thursday started with a solid performance from Evans. Then Chubba Hubbard and Scary Terry started putting in some work. By Sunday night, you thought it'd be fun to add a little funny name for your fantasy team after watching Sam Darnold completely faceplant against his old team. Then Monday night came....and went. You were up 3 points with Olave and Grupe to go and they combined for a paltry 3 points. Nice try though.
The universe been sending DA GAWD all the signs except stop it. The league been plottin' on me but here's the plot twist. DA GAWD keeps getting boxed in because he's a gift to this league. Despite running into the usual weakness of going away from Olympus, DA GAWD prevailed. Forget what you believe in, DA GAWD believes in ME. DA GAWD had a 20% chance to win going into Monday night. But like magic, Da GAWD's old friend Kareem Hunt came to bail him out. The same Kareem Hunt that was traded to him by Gordon himself. DA GAWD's about to drop the sequel and this is just a preview. Win number 5 in a row. Are you kidding me? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GORDON?!?!? I AM!!
#Amen
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